Back in Time

Chapter 26

Monica P.O.V

What?! I thought feeling my heart leap out of my chest, it began to thud so hard I was afraid he was going to hear it.

I stared at dad and wondered if I had possibly heard him correctly!

He stared back at my reaction and then did a little sigh as he saw the confusion growing in my eyes, "Of course I didn't tell you this, why would I tell you something like that," he mumbled.

I forced myself to remain calm, there was no reason to panic, right? I struggled to keep that calm composed look I always give Roxanne when she's about to have a nervous breakdown. I looked at dad seriously wondering if he was somehow playing a joke on me.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I....what did you say?" I asked surprised to find my voice steady, which yes pleased me somewhat.

"I guess I didn't tell you I killed someone," he repeated.

I swallowed feeling my hands becoming all of a sudden clammy, "No, you um, never mentioned that" I replied, my voice was still steady showing no sign of the panic that was beginning to form in me.

I kept a calm look on my face, struggled to maintain it as I looked at dad, yet in the inside I was beginning to freak out!

Holly shit! Holly shit! He killed someone?! When?! How? Who?! What? I still couldn't quite believe it! I couldn't wrap my mind around that statement! My father? Capable of killing someone? This must be a sick joke of some sort!

He nodded looking sullen, "Great, now I wish I hadn't told you that," he sighed "I'm sorry," he mumbled shaking his head looking really regretful already  "I didn't mean to scare you," he frowned at himself.

I cleared my dry throat "N-no, tell me, I want to know" I whispered.

He shook his head again "What was I thinking?" he seemed to mumble to himself.

"Please Alex, tell me" I said in a firmer voice wanting him to see that I wasn't scared in any way.

He continued to shake his head, "Idiot, idiot what were you thinking, of course you wouldn't tell your own daughter this crazy shit," he whispered to himself looking really angry.

Holly shit! Wow, it looked like he really had killed someone! But...who?! When? I didn't understand! It made no sense, dad was so....kind! Such a nice man, he wouldn't hurt a single fly! Much less be able to....kill someone! Even his younger self, yeah sure he might be a grouch, but he wasn't a murderer! I was sure of it!

But then what he just said....

My head was buzzing with questions! I was so confused, "Alex," I reached out to grab his hand "Please, tell me, explain" I begged wanting this confusion to end, and yes, maybe a little fear.

Was I afraid of my father right this moment?

Of course not, I wanted to hiss at myself, I was just...startled, yeah! I was startled by his sudden words! I mean, I had never expected him to say something like that!

He groaned and passed a hand through his hair making it even more messy "God I'm an idiot," he grumbled.

I stared at him, at his tense posture, it did look like he was serious, I willed myself to keep calm to all of this, I mean, there had be to a reasonable explanation right?

There was no need to feel anxious, I tried to ignore that little flashing red light that was alarming me in my head, tried to ignore the instinct I felt to run away, its not like he would hurt me right? Hell, I'd survived crazier things! Hearing him out wouldn't put me in any danger, that's what I had to do, hear him out.