I can still remember the first day that I had a crush on him. I really did everything para mapansin nya ako. Kahit palagi syang nakasimangot at naiinis, sobrang saya ko kasi atleast nakikita ko na hindi sya immune sa katulad ko. I've been thru alot. Hindi ako galing sa isang mayaman at respetadong pamilya, madami akong flaws, hindi ako sobrang ganda at hindi ko alam kung bakit sa paglipas ng araw naramdaman ko na mahal nya ako at kaya nyang gawing perpekto ako sa paningin nya. Sa bawat araw na nararamdaman ko na mahal nya at tanggap nya ang pagkatao ko Hindi ko maiwasan na magtanong. Bakit nga ba ako?
Pero dumating ang araw na iniwan nya ako. Sa loob ng limang taon, naisip ko din na walang forever, hindi totoo na may happy ending, na sa huli iiwan ka din at sasaktan ng mga tao na inakala natin na mamahalin tayo ng habang buhay. Walang permanente sa mundo yung ang natutunan ko. Pero sa loob ng ilang taon, I learned to be brave and face life. Naging successful ako as a career woman and I thank him for that.
When he came back as different person hindi ko maiwasan na hindi ikumpara si dennis at denver. But then again, sya pa din. We ended up married to each other. I can clearly remembered all of our fights. Ang pagseselos nya, ang pagtatampo nya, ang pagpaparamdam nya na natatakot sya na nawala ako ulet sa buhay ko. Hindi din sya perfect. He has his own flaws, pero ganon yata talaga pag mahal mo, tatanggapin mo ng buong buo kahit na nasaktan ka pa ng sobra.
This is a lifetime journey, naalala ko kagabi habang nasasaktan sya at sinasabi na kulang pa ang lahat. Alam ko na ang sinasabi nya ay ang lahat ng ginawa nya for me, to make me feel well loved and secure. Sometimes alam kong sobrang nagiging paranoid ako, na dadating ang isang araw at iiwan nya ulet ako. Pero ano nga ba ang kinakatakot ko, pinakasalan nya ako, may twins kami na sobrang pinagpapasalamat ko sa Diyos. I maybe so bad for thinking na puede akong ipagpalit ni Denver sa iba samantalang kita ko naman na sa amin lang umiikot ang mundo nya.
Tahimik ang buong bahay pagdating ko. Then I saw him, his sitting in the bar stool sipping a glass of wine. I'm speechless. I know I need to say sorry for everything but can't find my tongue to say it.
"I thought you left." He's hurt.
"Do you want me too?" I asked him while looking at him. He didn't look back, he just stared at his glass of wine.
"I can't stop you right?, I guess i can never tame you, I can never make you feel happy and contented. Go! If you want to leave me then fine leave!fucking leave me!." Shocked was written over my face.
I just can't absorb the words he is saying. He's drunk and he wants me to leave. He wants me to be out of his life. Can I? Is he fed up?
"Do you still love me?" I asked without looking. My hand is trembling. My tears are beginning to fall.
"When was the last time I did not?" He asked me in sarcasm.
"Why are you giving me up then?" I asked him while tears are all over my face.
"Fuck! I....I shet please don't cry! I'm still mad at you!" He said while trying to stop himself from holding me. Oh I know he didn't mean it. He's mad but I know he will not give up on me. I run and hug him from behind. I can hear his heartbeat so fast.
"I am mad at you!" he shouts but he hold my hand as if i will let go.
"I'm sorry baby!" I shout while I cried at his back.
"Please don't give up on me, please don't tell me to leave you, I love you. Please..bawiin mo lahat ng sinabi mo please?"Pagmamakaawa ko sakanya.
He let me turn and hold me in my face. I can see his tears too. He's also hurting and it's all because of the nasty things i said to him. O I hate myself for hurting him so bad.
"I can't really be mad at you even just for an hour. If I saw you crying hindi ko mapigilan na yakapin ka at ako pa rin ang magsorry kahit ikaw na ang may kasalanan." He said while wiping my tears.
He put me in his lap and clean my face. I can't explain what I am feeling right now. This man make me feel that I am his most precious possession. I am like a gem that is so fragile and delicate.I am damn lucky to have him. I kissed him with all my heart. I don't care if Manang Pearl would see us. I don't care coz i just want this man to feel that I truly love him so much. He gasp while I end the kiss.
"Why baby, that is so hot!" He said while giving me a grin in his face.
"I'm sorry, hindi na to mauulet. I promise to trust you and hear you out and compromise." I hug him and I really don't wanna let him go. I just felt he lift me up and I heard his voice.
"Let me give you your punishment for now" with the most perverted voice he can give.
"Oh, I would like to have that punishment so bad!" I said in between my kisses to him. I love this man, and I will never ever give up on him, tamed or untamed I will be his wife for the rest of our lives.
-END-
