I could never understand how you don't respond to me.. I took the big step this time around and made the effort first. I reached out to you. I texted you and I told you, that I loved you and hoped you and my brother were ok. Something's wrong and I have to finalize , figure out what exactly it is between us that causes you so much hate and bitterness in your core for me..
I would never not call my son. I would never not return his phone calls. Never.... Under no circumstances are there in this fucking crazy ass world would I ever not answer my son if he reached out to me.
I am going to tell you once and for all.. it is not to be discussed further. If You have other questions contact Michele Martinez . You say my children are stupid and called Matthew a liar. You haven't seen him since he was four. You never done anything to defend yourself then. Imagine how I felt.. I didn't know what to believe but I want you to know that ultimately my decision to let christian go was because aunt jami. Aunt jami told me that christian would have a better life. That was very hard for me to do. The hardest thing I ever watched was my son being torn from your arms in the Jack In The Box parking lot in Chowchilla. We met up with his father from his visit with us ( home for him). It really ripped me up to watch my son's heart shatter. But momma remember I was a kid to and I had my fare share of horror moments. like my aunt Sheri up and gone never to be seen again. Oh yeah once, she actually was the school photographer on picture day in 6th grade. She acted like she didn't even know me... She acted like she didn't even know me. Anyway kids are durable. I survived and by God's good grace my son survived us. How can you have hate in your heart, being a mother, and knowing I did what was right for my son? I don't hate you because your fucked up shit couldnt even tell your stepson was molesting mine for whatever amounts of times. You don't see because your blind. Open up your fucking eyes. Your not better than anyone and your not better than me. So why do you act like your are . Why do you think you sit higher than me .
How the thought has never entered your mind that I ultimately saved their lives.. you hate me.
You hate me.
And what for what?
There is one thing in my life I can say I did well.
I made certain that 3 lives I brought into this world where loved and care for and taught right from wrong. It is so that at that time in my life I could not be responsible for the finality of three life's, nor did I ever want to be the reason by example or naturality. I didn't want them to have the same life as me. That is your burden mother. Not mine. I chose my choice many years ago. I don't regret or ever will. Every time I think about me and my siblings upbringing and look at the whole picture I would never change it. I am thankful to God everyday for taking care of them. You understand,? If you don't I'm sorry.
As far as Matthew is concerned...
I should ultimately hate you. I should with every blood sweat and tear shed over you. I should ultimately hate you. But I don't. I don't . I love you. I Love you unconditionally. I don't know if you notice but I always have . So you can choose your own path. But my son is not to be spoken for. Your mouth is chalice almost child's play. If you can choose a better life without me in it, then by all means mother, please, go on. But don't use me as a smoke signal or as some angle in one of your drama filled manipulating projects. Such as being concerned and threatening to call local authorities had no one tell you my whereabouts. Stop the shenanigans . Grow up. I love you.
You know what I know about this.. Mother, my son has nightmare memories of being in your home. He was sexually abused there. Unlike me, he was taught it was wrong. He was not taught to make amends, it's just family problems and brush it away. He was taught that what happened to him was a sexual crime and that the feelings he has are normal.. the cycle stopped mother . Your so incredibly blind sometimes. Don't you feel responsible for what happened to us? Me to? You dam near fed is to the wolfs. There is no telling how many rimes Rory molested Christian
But truth fully be told, what he remembers happened in your home. Not mine.| Not Michele's. So what is your outlook on that? At any time we can agree to disconnect and just not talk. My son made his decision as a adult. I will go for the rest of my life and have him hate me then for him to ever be in the situation I'm in now. You understand? I needed support raising my son's. And yours was not the kind I dreamed for them. As their mother I did what I thought was right. I have no regrets.
I am not at disclosure if discussing any further issues.. one at a time
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