(Season 1, Episode 6)
I keep my eyes off of him for one fucking second and this is what happens?! Where did he even get those mushrooms from?
There Osamu was, standing on top of Ranpo's desk as he giggled and stared at the ceiling. His eyes were bloodshot, and his book was spread open next to a mushroom. What the hell am I even supposed to do in a situation like this? Wait him out?
"Get off of the desk, you're going to fall!" I scolded the brunette, as he hallucinated.
He must have noticed Kunikida's entrance, as he leaned to the side to peer around me. "Ah, Kunikida, it's an emergency!" He pointed to the ceiling. "Just take a look at this."
"Take a look at what?" The blonde tiredly sighed.
"It's right here, silly!"
"The only thing I see is your stupid face."
"It's here, I finally arrived!" Osamu continued to shout. "I can see the pearly gates and everything!"
"I have no idea what's going on," Kunikida sweat dropped.
"Mr. Kunikida, Ms. (Y/n), I found this." We looked over to Atsushi who held up a half-eaten mushroom and the suicide book that I noticed when I first came in here.
"I knew the complete guide to suicide was a complete masterpiece," the brunette laughed. "Who would've guessed I just needed to eat those mushrooms growing nearby to have an entertaining exit!"
"So those mushrooms were poisonous," the blonde deduced.
"Well yeah, he thought they were, but in actuality-"
Osamu made a quick lunge at the boy, effectively cutting him off. "Yes, I finally caught you, rainbow pill bug!"
"Help me!" Atsushi cried out.
Kunikida was at his desk, immersed in his morning tasks, while I tried to detach the delirious man from our coworker.
"I knew I should've burnt that book." I clenched my teeth, making a strenuous effort to break Osamu's hold on Atsushi. "Kunikida, mind helping out?"
"I'm doing my routine paperwork," he bluntly announced. "Wait until I'm done."
***
Before long, the bandaged man grew bored and approached Kunikida. Inexplicably, he succeeded in tying both Atsushi and me up, rendering us virtually helpless. "Oh, Kunikida." He annoyingly pinched his cheeks. "You should come to the afterlife too, it's amazing. So many rainbow pill bugs."
Having completed his work, the bespectacled man carefully closed his laptop, then grasped Osamu by the collar and hoisted him onto his back.
"Stop this nonsense!" Kunikida yelled.
An office lady handed a case file to the blonde after things calmed down. With no other tasks at hand, Atsushi, Osamu, and I decided to follow along... once Atsushi and I had been released from our restraints.
-At the Warehouses Near the Docks-
"Dazai, quit dilly dallying, keep up the pace." Kunikida reprimanded the man trailing slightly behind us.
"Okay," he hummed back.
"We only have two minutes and fifteen seconds until our appointment," the blonde reminded us.
"That's a cause for worry?" Osamu sarcastically spouted.
"Hate to break it to you Kunikida, but you sound a little off your rocker," I giggled.
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You Deserve Better (Osamu Dazai x Reader)
FanfictionYou were a typical junior high student living in a nurturing home. Your parents had a close friendship with a doctor named Ogai Mori, who took you in after they perished in a house fire. Years later, you encountered a boy who would become your world...
