You Deserve Better (Osamu Dazai x Reader)

Chapter 26: Yokohama Gangster Paradise

(Season 1, Episode 3)

Kunikida, Osamu, and I took seats on the stools by the coffee counter, while Junichiro, Naomi, and Atsushi settled into the adjacent booth. In honor of our newest member, we chose to welcome him with a celebratory drink.

Slamming his hands on the table, the ginger boy bowed. "I-I-I'm really sorry! I know it was for a test, but I was still really rude to you."

For some unknown reason, Osamu was swaying from side to side, prompting Kunikida to nudge him repeatedly with his shoe. Poor Atsushi had to deal with the whole Tanizaki sibling... thing, so Kunikida went to the table to give him some advice.

Sighing, I took a sip of my (tea/coffee). "I honestly don't understand it." 

"I don't think I want to, doll." Osamu laid his head on the table, gazing up at me.

I frowned, looking away from him. "Knock it off."

"Geez, I don't get why it bothers you so much."

Maybe it's because you're playing with my feelings when you said that you wanted to take a break. It only took me four years to realize. 

The bandaged man, growing bored with me, gently took the hand of one of the cafe waitresses, stroking it softly. "Will you strangle me with these beautiful, delicate fingers, young miss?"

It's things like these that make me almost sure that Osamu doesn't love me anymore. Kunikida approached from behind and smacked the back of his head, which made him hit it on the table.

"Were you listening to a single word I just said! My hands may not be as nice as hers, but if you're looking for someone to break your neck, I think that honor should go to me! Wouldn't ya say?!"

"Please do." I quietly muttered, taking another sip of my (tea/coffee).

As normal, Kunikida strangled Osamu for the billionth time.

"I was wondering, what were the three of you doing before you joined the Agency?" Atsushi asked. The two men, caught off guard, stopped to stare at him. "No big deal. Just curious is all."

"Take a guess," Osamu suggested. "It's a game, we've played it a lot here actually. The newcomer tried to guess his colleagues' former occupations. Think of it as part of training to become a private investigator."

"I wanna say Junichiro and Naomi were... students?"

"Woah, you got it," the ginger smiled.

"How did you figure that one out?" Naomi asked.

It's not rocket science.

"I was told you work at the Agency part time and you're wearing a uniform, so there's a good chance you were still in school. Plus, Junichiro and I seem to be similar in age. Just made sense."

"Not half bad, Atsushi." The brunette readjusted himself, straddling the back of his chair. "What about Mr. Kunikida?"

The blonde man spat out his coffee and then proceeded to yell. "Nobody cares about what I used to be, alright!"

"An official?" The tiger boy said to himself. "Did he hold a government job?"

"Close, he taught math," I corrected.

"I can totally picture that, actually," Atsushi sweat dropped.

I winced, thinking back to pre-calc. "I probably would've laid down in front of the bus if he was my math teacher." 

"It was another life," he huffed. "I don't even want to think about it."

"What about me and (Y/n) then?" Osamu asked. "Just to make this easier on you, I'll let you know that the two of us worked together before we came to the Agency."