Midnight Chronicles

Death in the Dark

𝘌𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺!!

Death was on my mind

And I did a bad bad today

I tried to resist but

It was the only way to ease the pain.

I thought about how to play it off

As just another day.

I'd write some soppy poems about love

And being in love and butterflies and flowers

Pretend I wasn't being eaten up

Like my heart wasn't being devoured.

And yes I'd be most agreeable

I'd smile and carry on and sing

"Oh im so happy to talk"

"Im so happy to be here right now"

"Oh yes im so excited this is happening"

"Take as much time as you need, I will be here"

One moment alone is all it takes

And I wanna remove me, the mistake

Some pressure to break the neck

5 minutes to suffocate

A single moment to kill someone.

Isn't that a scary thought

Yet still, the only thing I want is to ease this pain

The constant circulation of sadness in my veins

My existence is sometimes absolute bliss

Then I just want to die

In moments like this

I have worked tirelessly

Giving myself

In hopes of fulfilment

I have helped without a second thought

I worked hard to make others feel welcome

So no one would suffer as I did,

And here I am again

Writing alone in the dark

I don't know what I may be doing wrong

Maybe my very existence is the problem

Everyone brings their problems

and I happily solve them

Yet I can't even help myself

I am of no use to me

How does that even make sense

I have a thousand and one solutions

That fixes every problem

but none that fixes mine

Maybe I am meant to be alone and suffer

In this horror known as my heart and my mind

Maybe im just meant to be used

To fix and to be left behind

Watch everyone be happy

While im drowning in a sea of loneliness and pain

I hope there is purpose in this

Or my suffering would be in vain

♡+-𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑜 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔-+ ♡