Library Date|Phan (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Seven: But I Do Love You

Phil's POV
(Ah yes, finally a chapter in Phil's point of view! And don't worry, the next one shall be in Phil's POV, too. :D)

***

I look down at Dan and see that his sleeves have riled up a bit, enough to show his wrists. My eyes widen and my jaw drops, seeing the scars and fresh cuts scattered around his beautiful, tanned skin. He looks up at me and follows my gaze, and his breath hitches as he quickly pulls down his sleeves and avoids looking at me.

"Dan.."

Silence.

"Dan?"

Again, silence.

"Dan!"

That's when I hear the sniffles and the choked sobs. He's broken. He may not seem like it on the outside but his wrists tell it all. He's broken on the inside. I gently take his hands in mine and he flinches, and I make it so his palms are facing upwards. I roll up both his sleeves all the way up to his elbows and they only stop halfway up his wrists. Some are old, merely scars. Others are scabs and still fresh. Was that why he was itching? I run my thumb over the scars and cuts carefully. I finally look away and look up at Dan, tears in my eyes.

"Oh.. Dan.." I whisper.

He wipes away my tears gently and kisses my cheek, "P-please don't cry.."

"Why would you do this to yourself?"

"Because I deserve it.."

I shake my head, "You don't deserve any of this."

"I do deserve it. I deserve this. The bullies. My parents, especially my dad. I deserve every last bit of it. I've been told I deserve it by so many people."

"You don't."

I then see that there is some blood smeared and stained on the sleeves also. I instantly know what caused them to start bleeding again. The itching. I let out a small sigh and quickly get up and go out to the bathroom, grabbing a cloth and some bandages. When I come back to the room, I see Dan lying down on my bed and looking up at the ceiling. Tears have stained his cheeks and his chest rises and falls slowly. I go over to him and he looks over at me, his eyes bloodshot and puffy. I sit on the edge of the bed with the now damp cloth and start cleaning his wrists. He flinches occasionally as I continue to clean the cuts, but he doesn't take his eyes off me.

"I'm sorry.." he says, his voice hoarse, "I'm sorry for being such an idiot. I'm sorry for being a pain. I'm sorry for-"

"Stop." I say, cutting him off, "You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? You're not an idiot and you're not a pain."

"Yes, Phil, I am. I'm nothing but a useless thing that doesn't deserve to live. I don't deserve anything and I certainly don't deserve you. You don't need someone like me in your life, I'll just cause problems and you don't need this-"

I cut him off again by pressing my lips to his. He doesn't protest and his eyes flutter closed in a matter of seconds of our lips connecting. I finally pull away a few moments later and he keeps his eyes trained on mine and remains silent and I finish cleaning everything. After I finish bandaging up his wrists, I jolt as he wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. I smile, wrapping my arms around him, holding him close.

He finally pulls away, a frown still on his face, "I've been told all my life that no one could like me. I'm worthless and I believed it.. until I met you. Y-you actually make things better." I give him a small smile and kiss him again softly. We pull away again and his gaze locks on mine. Him staring into my eyes and I staring into his.

"I don't know how but.. you make me feel as if there is nothing bad in my life.. you make me forget about everything bad.. and you make me feel loved. Even though you don't love me.. you just make me feel loved.. you make me feel wanted."

I keep my voice quiet, "But I do love you, Dan."

"You.. wh-what?"

"I do love you. I love you a lot.." I say, giving him a nod.

"I love you, too. Like.. a lot a lot."

I smile and he hugs me again, burying his face in the crook of my neck, his eyes closed. All I do is hug him back, rubbing his back soothingly. I start humming quietly and I feel his smile on my neck. I really do love this boy. This brown eyed boy I met at the library only a few days back. This brown eyed boy named Dan.