Library Date|Phan (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Ten: Do I Really?

Dan's POV

"PJ. PJ Liguori."

I stare, frozen, standing by the stairs as that familiar name comes out of Phil's mouth. I know I said I didn't have any friends myself but PJ just isn't an old friend. He's an old ex.

I know he's moved on since he's now with Chris Kendall. I introduced them and at first, when PJ dumped me for Chris, I kept telling myself it was a mistake to have them meet. But further on after the breakup, I realized that PJ was more happy. And so was I. Ever since, we've broke contact, but I still haven't forgotten him. And I haven't entirely forgotten my feelings, either.

"Dan?"

I snap out of my thoughts and look up the stairs, afraid to go back. I give Phil a quick nod and rush back to his room, grabbing what he asked me to grab. A bag, clothes, and the credit card from his drawer, and head back to him, his dad still unconscious on the hallway floor.  I slip on my shoes, throwing the bag over my shoulder.

"Where does PJ live?" I ask, but I know the answer. I shouldn't tell Phil about me and PJ. Not yet, anyways.

"He lives in London," He replies and I give him a nod, "Now come on, my mum doesn't seem to be home. She must be out God knows where.."

He quickly takes my hand and I feel slightly relieved from his touch. I gently squeeze his hand and he smiles at me and I smile back and we head out, using our Oyster cards for the underground train. We stay quiet, and I know Phil is thinking about his dad. He punched him. Did he punch his own father to protect me from him? Or was it just anger taking over? I sigh quietly, looking back over at Phil who's looking out the window into the darkness of the tunnel.

"Phil?"

"Hm?"

"What are you thinking about, love?"

He sighs, shaking his head, "Things."

"What things?"

"My parents. My life. I don't get it.. why is my life so terrible?"

"Don't say that. We all know everything get's better. My life was terrible until I met you. You changed my life."

"You're right.. things do get better I suppose. You've made me happier. My life right now isn't so bad. I'm with you and I always want to be with you."

I smile taking his hands in mine, "I will always be with you, okay? I promise."

"Good. I don't want to lose you." He smiles slightly, looking down at our hands.

"I don't want to lose you, either."

"You won't."

"Good."

We stay silent the rest of the train ride, our hands still together. As we get off the train, he takes out his phone.

"I just texted PJ. He said we are welcome to come over at anytime and stay was long as we need."

I nod, "Alright, let's go." I say, starting to walk toward the stairs that will take me to the streets.

"Not so fast!" He says, following me, "I want to do something first."

I tilt my head slightly, giving him a questionable look, "What is it?"

"I want to take you out. On a proper date. I've got extra money in my wallet so we don't have to use the credit card unless we absolutely need to."

"But-"

"No but's, Mr.Howell. I'm taking you out on a date."

I sigh, smiling, "Alright, fine Mr.Lester. Where do you suppose we go?"

"Nando's?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Then off we go. I told PJ that we have something we need to do first."

"Lets-a-go!" I giggle as I impersonate Mario, and Phil chuckles.

"Wow I'm taking Mario out on a date. Lovely."

I roll my eyes, nudging him, "Oh hush."

"You love me."

"I suppose."

He pouts, "Meanie."

"I was joking. I love you. A lot. Like, a lot a lot." I pull him into a hug and when I pull away he's smirking.

"Yeah, I know. I love you too, Bear."

I nudge him again, "Let's go, Lion. I'm hungry."

He chuckles, taking my hand again, "Same here."

We start walking down the pavement into town, and I bite my lip. Should I tell Phil about me and PJ dating? Should I ever tell him? I don't want him to leave me.. all I want to leave me is my existing feelings toward PJ I still have. What if Phil finds out himself? Would he get mad at me for not telling him?

I need to let PJ go. I have Phil and PJ has Chris. I pull out my phone, checking the time. 5:43 pm. I shove it back into my pocket and look at Phil and smile. He catches my gaze and smiles back and I forget about everything. The events from today. PJ. I just think about him. Phil. My boyfriend. The blue eyed boy from the library. Who I love with all my heart.

Do I really love him with all my heart, though?

***

Dear Reader:
Didn't see that coming, did you? :) Till next tiiiiime.