Carisia
"Pwede ba, pagod ako? If you want to argue, maghanap ka ng aawayin mo," I told him off, because it seems like wala naman siyang balak gawin kung hindi ibunton na naman sa'kin ang init ng ulo niya sa trabaho.
All of this is tiring! We both can't catch a break because it seems like a fuse sets off whenever we see each other's faces.
"Naghahanap ako ng kausap, Cari! Bakit ba tuwing nakikita mo ako, parang kaharap mo ang mortal mong kaaway? I know we're not exactly anywhere near friends, but can we try being one?"
I scoffed in disbelief after hearing those righteous words coming out from his mouth. Alam ko naman na he's good at pretending, but I didn't know that he was THIS good.
With nothing else left to say, I heaved a sigh of exhaustion before throwing a cold glance at him. "Ewan ko, Enrico! Magpapahinga na ako, please just let me be."
Memories of last night's usual argument replayed at the back of my mind while I'm getting ready for another day at the office.
It felt good moving around the room because of the silence that wraps around each and every corner of it.
The bathroom specifically smelled like mint toothpaste, with hints of spice coming from his perfume. He got ready earlier than me that's why I can still smell the residue of his morning rituals.
As I was almost done with my morning routine, I heard the main door of the bedroom creak open, causing me to drop any emotions I have on my face to avoid any more interaction with him.
I left the bathroom door open so it was no surprise when he suddenly entered, our eyes locking for a moment before I decided to break away.
"I forgot my phone," he mumbled as he walked past behind me, straight to his side of the vanity.
I paused what I'm doing and I waited for him to get out so I can continue styling myself.
Instead of leaving immediately, he took his time in front of the mirror, fixing a few strands of his well-kept hair.
"Sabay na tayong umalis," he casually said.
"Mauna ka na--"
"Your work car has dents. Pinadala ko sa repair shop. Care to tell me what happened? Bakit may mga gasgas ang kotse mo?"
I kept my mouth shut as I faced the mirror. Wala akong balak makipagkwentuhan sa kaniya ngayong umaga.
I'm physically and mentally exhausted, and I hope he sees that, at least.
"Cari."
Still, I didn't face him.
Finally, I heard him sigh in defeat. "A'ight. If you don't wanna tell me, it's fine. Mamayang gabi pala, nagpapatawag si Mama for dinner. Sunduin na lang kita sa opisina mo."
"Okay," I replied coldly.
***
The tranquilizing silence of my office somehow gave me space to think about recent events.
I had such a huge fight with Enrico recently, and until now, I refuse to talk or converse with him. I just can't stand the idea.
"Cari! Mag-usap tayo," he grabbed her arm, causing her to harshly shake his hand off.
Frustration and tension were building up as the two refused to make amends.
"Ano ba?! Gusto mo talagang pag-usapan ha?" Carisia heavily tossed her handbag on the bed before facing him fully.
"Sige, mag-usap tayo! Pero gusto ko, isama mo 'yung babaeng 'yon!"
Enrico, feeling the gravity of Cari's emotions, couldn't do anything but massage the bridge of his nose.
"Would you please forget about--"
"Forget? Enrico naman! Alam kong we're not exactly a couple, pero pwede ba, spare our marriage some dignity? Kung gusto mong makipagkita sa babae mo, pwede bang sa lugar na walang makakakilala sa'yo? Sa inyo?"
He scoffed, thinking about how Cari cares for their marriage, yet doesn't have any plans on working it out.
"Oh, you're still thinking about your reputation and dignity, but you didn't have the guts to refuse getting married to me?" he countered as the argument became more heated.
As if he accidentally hit a nerve, Cari glared at him, her eyes filled with fury and regret. "I had no choice, and so did you."
Sana man lang kasi, he's thinking about us. Sa mata ng mga tao, kasal kami. Matalino naman siya at alam naman niya sigurong maraming matang nakatingin pagdating sa'min at sa relasyon naming dalawa na pinalabas ng mga pamilya namin.
All of this is too much for me to handle, especially now that work is piling up dahil sa company expansion which will be happening anytime soon.
Sa totoo lang, I'm so burned out, and Enrico being so stubborn isn't helping!
***
"So, how are you two?" my mother asked, followed by dead silence in the room.
Enrico and I exchanged meaningful glances before he opted to answer. "We're fine, Ma. Still adjusting, but we're okay." He held my hand which was placed on top of the table, beside my plate.
I got used to pretension as time flew by for the both of us, so holding my hand is not a big deal for me. If that's what it takes to fool our families that our relationship is working, then so be it.
"That's good to hear! We're glad na nagkakasundo kayo," Enrico's mother followed.
I don't know if it's the mixture of everybody's strong fragrant perfumes, but I found myself getting dizzy in the midst of our meal.
I had to put my utensils down and ground myself because my head feels so light.
My attempt to stay cool and keep the feeling in, was a failure.
Not wanting to be the center of attention, I immediately excused myself after realizing that I wasn't feeling well.
Upon arriving at the restroom, my nausea worsened. I walked over to the mirror, my body bent over the sink to try and relieve my nausea by throwing up.
Tinitigan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin, saka ko napansin ang epekto ng puyat at pagod sa kabuuan ko.
In a matter of seconds, I threw up the ill feeling in my stomach, each time leaving a streak of disgusting sourness down my throat.
I reached for the tissue dispenser after rinsing my mouth to relieve the awful taste it left on my tongue.
Even though I was feeling kinda heavy and light at the same time, I still composed myself so I can get back to the dinner without concerning anybody.
*
End of Chapter 1
*
