As the Woe Turns: Once Broken A Wenclair story

Mistakes Were Made

⚠️Mentions of self hate/self harm. Homophobia/internalized homophobia. And abuse. Briefly implied thoughts of suicide.⚠️

With Enid

Enid sat on the front steps of Addams Manor as she cried her eyes out. Wednesday had left to who knows where. She said she wanted Enid to leave her alone. Enid's heart was shattered. She wasn't ready to give up, but it still hurt. She wanted to do something to salvage the situation but her thoughts were jumbled and scattered. She had no idea what. This whole thing was obviously her fault, but Enid knew she made the right choice this time. She couldn't do friends with benefits with Wednesday. Not when she wanted so much more. Her heart was already too invested for that. She couldn't deny it anymore. She spent too long doing that when she had the chance to act back at Nevermore. There was no question now. It had always been Wednesday from the second she had stepped through her dorm room door. Everyone else had just been a distraction from the truth.

It hadn't taken long for Enid to fall head over heels and deeply in love with Wednesday Addams back at Nevermore, and it didn't take long in Essex Fells once again. Maybe it was because the feelings she had for Wednesday never actually went away. Maybe it was the mate thing. Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was because she was getting to see the evolution, a whole world of subtly nuanced differences, and a new softer side of the Addams girl. Maybe all of the above. Either way, Enid was hopeless in it. She told Mrs Addams she would do anything. She would be anything Wednesday needed, but apparently there was that one thing she just couldn't do or be. Especially when all Wednesday wanted her around for was sex. At least if the two encounters they had recently were any indication. Both of which still totally blew Enid's mind. Like what?! That and maybe a friend. Maybe. It would have killed Enid to be that close yet still so removed.

Enid wished Wednesday would have listened. Hell she wished they had actually talked about things back at Nevermore before it was too late instead of ghosting and ignoring each other every time something uncomfortable happened. It would have made this whole thing exponentially easier. Obviously Enid's decision to stop wasn't a rejection on Wednesdays behalf. It wasn't about not wanting her. It was the exact opposite in fact. For the first time in a long time she wanted nothing superficial. Enid didn't just want Wednesday's body. This wasn't just some random hookup with someone she didn't care about. She wanted Wednesday. All of her, even the prickly parts. She had then too, but she was afraid of losing everything. Her pack, her family, her friends except Yoko of course. Everything. Now, she didn't care anymore. There was no question. If she could go back, she would have given it all up. She would have confessed to Wednesday sooner. She wouldn't have let her try to push her away, and she never would have dated Ajax. Now, Enid wanted a life with Wednesday. She wanted kids and to help her raise Ever. She wanted to stay in Essex Fells. She wanted marriage and the whole lot. All of it.

Wednesday's first week at Nevermore they talked out on the balcony about Enid's fears of being a lone wolf. Wednesday scoffed and told her to start her own pack. Like it was just that simple for her. Esther Sinclair had her convinced it would totally be the worst thing in the world. Now she knew it wasn't but at the time... Her mother had continually lied, threatened, intimidated, manipulated , and brow beat her into submission for years. She used her vulnerability as a trusting child and her inability to wolf out as an excuse to physically beat her into submission as well and it had worked for the most part. Both left scars. Anything other than a heteronormative lifestyle was wrong. Enid was wrong and would be punished for anything else. She had bounced back and forth between loving herself and outright hating who she was for years depending on how often she had spoken to her mother. She had the self imposed scars on her legs and arms to prove just how much she loathed herself at times.

Enid was proud of who she was now. She was pansexual. She was colorful, and bold, and emotional, and loud. She always had been. She was like trying to fit a brilliant star shaped peg into a bland round hole. Enid didn't fit. And it outraged her mother. So she beat it into her. Straight and demure was the only way lest you became a lone wolf. An outcast amongst outcasts. A fate worse than death. It's what pushed her away from Wednesday every time she got too close. There was close then there was too close. Esther knew what she was doing. Lies. Everything her mother had said had been lies used to control her daughter. It took years for Enid to realize living a life you weren't genuine in, a life without honesty, a life without your mate was far worse than being shunned by a group of people who only loved you when you were who they thought you should be. Enid was finally ready to walk away from it all if need be.