Dogs & Pictures - Victoria Pelova

Chapter 38

Before Vic could say anything to me I ran as fast as I could to get away from everyone. I was able to hear Vic shout my name but as I got farther and farther the voice got quieter until I couldn't hear it at all. I got in Vic's car driving off and not knowing where I was going but I didn't care. At this point, I didn't even want to think about what just happened, but the image wouldn't go away. Vic is the only person I've ever truly loved. My girlfriend, kissing someone else. Not even someone else but her childhood best friend who happens to be her ex. Why!? Why would she kiss her?? Why would she allow her to kiss her? I'm I not enough for her? Have I not given her enough for her to cheat on me with someone she once hated?
I kept shaking my head no no no not wanting to believe this. I took out my phone from my back pocket texting Vic "I need some time alone" and "Don't come after me," so she wouldn't be worried about me. Not that she cares to come after me when she isn't over her ex. As I felt tears coming I knew I wasn't strong enough to hold it in. I let out all the tears that I held and more I didn't know I had.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" I screamed while hitting the steering wheel three times.
I wiped my tears and continued driving with the never-ending image of Vic with someone else swirling in my head.
I ended up parking at a bar contemplating whether I should go in or not.
"Fuck it," I said getting out of the car.
I opened the door seeing a few people sitting on the stools and some were dancing drunk off their heads.
That's going to be me I say in my head.
I sat down on a bar stool putting my elbows on the table and rubbing my eyes. I forgot how late it was getting because of everything that just happened. I didn't realize how long I was driving until I checked my phone showing 11:12 pm.
"Can I get you a drink?"
I looked up from my phone and saw an older lady who I'm guessing is the bartender.
"Uh," I thought unsure if I should drink or not. Vic never liked it when I would drink. She would always say it showed all the horrible parts of a person but I think it also shows the real parts of a person. But right now I could care less about what Vic thought I just don't want to feel this pain.
"Can I get an old-fashioned?"
"Sure thing," the woman said turning around to make my drink.
Not even a minute later the woman came with my drink.
"Thanks," I said chugging it down and placing it down loudly.
I raised my hand asking for another one.
"Here you go," the bartender said giving me another.
I chugged it down again not caring what it would do to me. In the corner of my eye, I could see the bartender looking at me.
"Look, I don't usually interact with people drinking their heads off but you gotta pretty strong drink there and chugged it down like nothing. Plus you don't look too good."
I sighed at her.
"You okay?" She asked.
I laughed but not in a happy way. More in a you have no idea kind of way.
"My girlfriend just cheated on me."
"Shit. I'm sorry," she said moving closer towards me.
I shrugged my shoulders.
"It fucking sucks but nothing I can do about it now. If she wants her instead... she can have her," I said.
What I was saying might not have been true since I wasn't thinking straight from the alcohol but it's what I thought in the moment.
"I mean, if you want to forget, at least for now, we can go to my place. I can do whatever you want me to do and we don't have to see each other ever again."
Was she being serious??
"It's up to you. I just thought it might be good for you to let loose and after that shitty move your girlfriend pulled, why not," she said trying to intimidate me.
"You don't need the alcohol. I can offer you something better," she spoke again, and the next thing I knew her hand was on mine.
I looked at her, longer this time seeing what she looked like. She was older and beautiful but nothing compared to Vic.
I moved my hand away from her and shook my head.
"I'm good."
She shrugged her shoulders.
"If you say so," she said leaving me alone.
The last thing I needed right now was sex. I wouldn't depend on sex to solve my problems but rather drink till I forget. It just seemed better that way to me. I never want sex to be something that helps me take away the pain but rather brings peace and love. That's something I would only want and give to Vic.
I would never cheat on Vic even if she did. Part of me wants to believe she didn't but I saw it. I wish I never saw it even if it did happen. I wish my eyes never saw Vic love someone else.
I had to stop thinking about this because my heart truly couldn't take it anymore.
I drank and I drank and I drank eventually to the point where I was the one on the dance floor not knowing how to dance but did anyway. I meant it when I said I was going to be dancing drunk when I first got here.