Advice From A Gay Guy

Confidence

Question: I am a very shy person and I don't have many friends. I usually don't say what I'm thinking and stay out of the conversations beacause I am afraid of what other will think about what I say and it's easier for me to talk online and I feel like someone without a life and so on. And here it comes the question: How can I be more confident?

TODAY IS THE DAY I TEACH YOU HOW TO BRING OUT THE CONFIDENCE THAT IS ALREADY IN YOU!

STEP ONE: Smile

Even just a small smile can ease a situation or just giving a smile to a random person that you make eye contact room or a passbyer. In a social situation it makes you seem open and less guarded, people will feel like they can talk to you because you seem open.

Now I am not saying grin at every person that you walk by nor do I mean that if you make eye contact to all of a sudden just randomly do a cheshire cat smile. Just do your smile:)

STEP TWO: Make eye contact

This will show the person you are listening and that you are paying attention and geniunly care and not looking around and being side-tracked like.

OMG ITS A BUTTERFLY! I wonder what kind it is, i recognize the patterns. I probably should have paid attention during bio during the insect unit. I wish I could look it up, maybe if I took a picture for later? Oh wait this person is still talking to me. Oh fuck the butterfly went away. I guess im not a disney princess then.

Ive done it before too. Dont lie I know you've all wondered if you were a secret disney princess before too.

STEP THREE: Body langage.

THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT. Sometimes without even knowing it we give off this kind of feeling or AURA about us. So for example if I am sitting with my arms crossed, head down and hunched shoulders I probably don't look the most approachable but if I have my head up, shoulders back, looking around and being alert. I probably look more approacheable (I think...)

So yeah.

STEP FOUR: QUALITIES AND TALENTS

We all have something that we are good at, whether that be multitasking, singing, dancing, drawing, writing, fashion, making people smile or laugh, or idk you can ride a bicycle while balancing stuff on your head (like in that one Dr.Seuss book which I dont remember the name of). You have to recognize your talents and give yourself a little like confidence boost because you excel in certain things. Focusing on your talents rather than your flaws will help you to become more confident because you are focusing on the good.

If you aren't sure what talents you have, try a lot of different stuff!:) Try maybe art, or pottery or sewing or riding whales if thats even possible... thats sounds wrong too. OKAY LIKE A WHALE TRAINER OR SOMETHING.

Remember past accomplishments and then use your qualities and talents!:)

STEP FIVE: Obstacles

Think of why you feel you aren't confident, write it down. For example maybe you failed that big science test that everyone else seemed to get an A plus on and you feel kinda stupid (you arent, they probably all lied about getting an A). Then ask yourself if it's logical to feel down on yourself about it, I mean I think its a valid reason but there is always a chance to do it right. So study harder the next time!:D Sometimes we assume things and they really aren't logical, which is totally okay we just have to fix it. Change your thought process about that certain topic.

STEP SIX: Everyone deals with confidence issues.

We all at one point in our life struggle with our confidence, you aren't alone! I've struggled with my confidence before too. Just remember that:) We aren't perfect but thats totally okay, its our imperfections that set us apart and make us beautiful.

Also stop comparing yourself to everyone else because here is the thing. you aren't like everyone else. You are YOU. THe one and only YOU and thats whats so awesome about you!:D

STEP SEVEN: Apologies

So I got this idea from that dove commerical (I think thats what it was from) I will put it in the side media. About how we tend to apologize now the commercial is set on woman but this goes for women and men. We dont need to apologize for everything because not everything is our fault. Why dont we stop apologizing for things we didnt do because it will only make you feel lower that you have to apologize for every little thing. And you dont, apologizing is a good trait but when you over apologize it hurts rather than helps.

STEP EIGHT: Accept compliments

We tend to not accept compliments when we don't feel they are true but what if we accepted them because maybe someone else sees something in you that you cant see? OWN THAT COMPLIMENT GIRL OR GUY! YOU TOTALLY DESERVE IT:D

If you still feel uncomfortable with accepting one just try and give one back, it eases the tension.

STEP NINE: Leave the people who bring you down

If you hang around negative people you tend to become negative yourself. If you hang around people who make you hate yourself more, you are not doing yourself a favor. Hang around people who will make you feel good about yourself, who will make you feel like the best version of you.

STEP TEN: Take risks

Now im not saying something like extremely crazy like bungee jumping down some idk some building with a tiger. Im talking about those small everyday risks we can take. If you have the chance to try something new why not try it?

Failure is inevitable, its what happens, its life. The important part is that you keep trying and that you get back up. Learn from your mistakes, its the getting back up that makes you stronger and more confident. You may be knocked down ten times but if you get back up on that elventh try thats what makes you strong. That you can still get back up.

Have a wonderful day bitches xoxo

PS IT WAS A PANTENE COMMERCIAL! And yes it deals with woman but i think it also relates to us guys too.