Advice From A Gay Guy

Figuring out your sexuality

Question: hey :D my question: how do i know whether i'm gay or not? i'm about 80% sure i'm bisexual but i still don't know whether i'm straight, a lesbian or bisexual :/ any help? and how did you know that you were gay? thanks :D btw i love your book.

First things first I want to let you know that this confusion you are feeling is totally normal. I remember being in your shoes when I was starting to experiment, starting to realize that I might not be interested in girls. There is no steps you can take to figure out your sexuality, it's one of those things that the confusion will make sense sooner or later. Somtimes it's really easy for people to figure out and there are also people who take a lot longer and both of those are okay. There is absolutely NO RUSH to figure out what your sexuality is because it's you and it's a different process to figure it out for each person. I just want to let you know that those quizzes that people put out that say "Find out your sexuality" aren't accurate believe me I tried them too (they really dont give you any closure or answers).

Something that helped me decide what my sexuality was, was to figure out who i'm more attracted to. Do you feel like you are more attracted to girls or guys or maybe you are attracted to both. If you feel like you want to have that defining name on you of gay or lesbian or pansexual or bisexual or straight sometiems it helps to ask yourself how would you define yourself. If that makes any sense, when I was figuring it out. I asked myself.

"If someone asked me if I was gay or bisexual how would I define myself?"

Like I dont know if that helps you in anyway but. yeah.

Think about your thoughts, emotions and behaviors towards the certain genders.

STORY TIME!

So you asked how I figured it out and this is it. I was confused, you know, and so I decided well why not pin point what I find attractive in each gender and so I wrote down what I thought was attractive in each gender and there was more for guys than girls. But that was just the start. Like my friends would go "dude isnt she hot." and I would look and I would look at her and be like "shes pretty" but then I would see a hot guy and I would be like "oh my god, hot guy alert. Hot guy alert." and I started to realize that my thoughts were geared towards guys. But I also realized I had more crushes on guys than girls. And all this kinda started to make sense more and more. It took me a long time to figure it out, it wasn't easy because I didnt want to be seen as different but thats the thing.

Whoever you are attracted to, whoever you like, whoever you want to marry and whoever you love its who you love. There is nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian or pansexual or bisexual or transgender. Love is love, love is rare and I think you should just grab it. Be who you are, dont let others try to bring you down for who you are.

Fuck the haters, you know, you are you and no-one can change that. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what they think because you are special and unique and fuck normal. What the fuck is normal, you dont have to fit anyone else's standards but your own.

I just want you to know that you don't have to change anything about yourself, you are beautiful the way you are and that you are you and no one can change that. You are strong and courageous and special and what you are feeling is totally okay.

Remember to be yourself<3

Have a wonderful day bitches xoxo