Enchanted (Bbangsaz)

34

Hanni steps aside, allowing Minji in. The door clicks shut behind them, and they stand in the small hallway, the familiar comfort of the space doing nothing to ease the awkwardness. They're both still navigating this uneasy tension, unsure of where to begin.

Minji takes a deep breath and looks at Hanni, her voice quieter than usual. "I'm sorry for the last few days. I know I've been... distant. I didn't talk to you properly. I shouldn't have let things get so bad."

Hanni crosses her arms, there's a softness in her eyes that Minji can't quite read. "It's fine," she says, her voice just above a whisper. "I understand. I'm just..." She trails off, clearly not knowing what to say either. "I know I've messed up. I'm so sorry."

Minji frowns, her heart heavy. "It's just that... I'm exhausted, Hanni. Every time I try to talk about us, I have to pretend like you're not the most important thing in my life. I don't even know who I can talk to about us without worrying if they're going to spill it. I can't keep doing this. I need more than this. I need more than just being your secret."

Hanni flinches at the words, but she says nothing. She can feel the weight of what Minji is saying, but she's unsure how to answer. Minji continues, her voice trembling slightly.

"It feels like I'm the one always having to pretend. It's exhausting."

Hanni's breath catches in her throat, and she steps back slightly, unsure of what to say. "I don't want to hurt you, Minji. But I just... I can't put everything out there. I don't want everything about me to be tied to this. I don't want to lose my life, my career, just to prove we're something real." Her words are soft, but they hit Minji like a punch to the gut.

Minji stares at her, her voice breaking. "So, what am I supposed to do? Pretend like it's okay every time you act like we're just a secret? It feels like you don't even want this with me. Like it's not worth it."

Hanni winces at the rawness of Minji's words, the hurt in her eyes so visible. "That's not it. You know I didn't meant to say it like that. I do want this, but it's complicated. You don't understand what it's like to be in my position."

Minji shakes her head slowly. "No, I get it. The worst thing is that I do! But I'm just tired of being the one left in the shadows. I'm tired of wondering if you really want me, or if you just want me when it's convenient for you!"

The words hit Hanni like a slap, but she doesn't know how to respond. Instead, she stays silent. Minji presses on, unable to stop herself.

"I'm tired of being told I'm not enough, Hanni. I'm tired of hearing that I'm not worth taking that risk. I'm standing here, vulnerable, and all I hear is that everything about me, everything about us, doesn't matter enough to you."

Hanni opens her mouth to say something but stops, the words caught in her throat. "It's not that, Minji. It's just... I don't know how to balance this. My career, my life, everything. It's not just about you, it's about everything I've worked for. I can't throw it all away just to prove something."

Minji's voice is quiet now, almost a whisper. "But I want to be with you, Hanni. I want to shout it from the rooftops. I want to tell the world that I'm yours. But I can't keep pretending that we're nothing."

The silence between them is thick, almost suffocating. Hanni looks down, visibly torn. "I don't want to lose you, Minji," she says, her voice barely audible. "But I need time. I need time to figure this out."

Minji's chest tightens at her words. She's not happy. She's not okay with this. But she knows she can't force Hanni into something she's not ready for. Minji swallows, her heart breaking, but she nods, even though it feels like she's conceding something she shouldn't have to.