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Chapter 10: A Harsh Reality

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''The closer we get to someone, the more we realise they aren't who we imagined.''

Diary Entry, December 15th

I kind of heard something i wasn't supposed to hear  today.I wanted to ask for his Snapchat account from Lily, but she said '' You should better not get it''. Meaning he wasn't gonna give it to me . I don't know why but I have a feeling he already has someone he likes and he is not into young people ,obviously. What was I thinking?

It's not like I ever thought I had a real chance, but hearing her say it like that made it feel more real. More final. He doesn't see me, and he probably never will. I'm just the little girl who sits near his friends at lunch.

I spent the rest of the day feeling numb. I tried to focus on class, on my friends, but I couldn't stop thinking about how silly I've been. Ethan's out of reach. He's always been out of reach, and I was stupid to think otherwise.

Maybe it's time to let this go. It hurts too much to keep hoping for something that will never happen.

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I don't think i can go on writing the love parts again cuz like yh this is how it all turned out.

It kind of feels weird writing about my life here for people to read but i guess it's better to let things off. And this is my way of doing it.

But yh i have K-POP my delulu is awakened.

Also side note this really happened.😭😭😭😭😭😭😭


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