Venting (cause why not)

My childhood + Thanksgiving

So, let's talk

I've probably (or haven't idk) mentioned that I don't remember anything in my childhood, right? 

Well I rlly don't, but all the memories that I DO remember are mostly of my crying or my parents yelling at me, along with my old classmates teasing/bullying me, and all that bad shit. The only good ones I remember is me playing two instruments (piano and flute) and playing with my old friends on roblox and/or irl.

I didn't know the issues I had even as a child until I came across a couple of photos from my dad's old photo gallery. It was a drawing I made on a whiteboard, divided into two sides: each showing a parent and a child. On the left side, it showed a mother praising their son for the little achievements that he'd made. On the right side, it showed my dad yelling at me and sending me to my mom bc I talked to him with a lil disrespect.

I also remember my first impression abt my piano teacher. Everytime he'd praise me abt how good and talented I was, I'd imagine him like having a lil dragon companion (whenever I wasn't looking) and they'd talk trash abt me. I probably never accepted compliments since I was treated negatively more than positively. Even though I was easily attached to ppl, I found it hard to trust them. It took me over a year to snap out of that thought, if not, two.

Also thanksgiving for me is this thursday and friday (which means yes i have school rn) but rlly, all I'm thankful for is for friends, music, wattpad, and that's probably it? Ik it sounds mean of me to like not be thankful for my parents, but they rlly did damage the way I viewed myself and how I thought abt myself and others overall. Same goes to my younger sister.