It's kinda..addicting?

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Does anyone feel like they want to be better but also felt too much comfort in their sadness to like do anything major to change it?

Like sure I have issues that can affect my relationships and friendships with others. Sure I had insecurities since I was in elementary school. Sure my mood swings can get pretty extreme to the point idk why I feel the way I do. Sure I do bad habits instead of finding good ones. 

But the thing is, it's so hard to get out of it. Especially when you've been use to it for a while. You still want it to end, but the comfort you get when u experience it makes it so much harder.

Maybe I've been living with it since god knows when, maybe I need to fix my habits? Who knows? I just want this year to fucking end I'm tired of literally everything. I fear that one day my parents are going to take all of the stuff the I enjoy, and I'll just continue to live like an NPC while being mentally unstable with all these issues to deal with until I won't be able to take it anymore :)

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