The Bagman's Direction

Chapter 18

"I'm freaking out, Liam" I panicked.

I was unable to stop tapping my toe against the wooden floor as we sat together at the table of the rumpus room. My eyes kept darting around instead of keeping focused on the open textbook before me. I couldn't even hold my pen steady as it hovered above the notepad carelessly beside the textbook. I kept trying to find excuses, ways to avoid my two upcoming examinations. It was like I was back in highschool.

"You'll ace it, Louis. Stop doubting yourself... You always doubt yourself" Liam grumbled, flipping through a magazine.

"For good reason" I muttered, my gaze landing on him.

"You've spent how long with Dr. Kite now? Two months. Two whole months. Two months and you haven't watched a single episode of Greys Anatomy to aid you and you're smarter than Christina Yang, I'm telling you"

"Shutup" I growled, rolling my eyes.

It had been two months. A long and slow two months with Nicholas Kite. The second I went into his care, the friendship between us deteriorated and a strict professional one picked up. He was so stern and so intense. He genuinely wanted to pass on everything he knew and model me to be the perfect doctor. Well the perfect doctor under these unordinary and imperfect circumstances. I was to be used to the best of my capabilities. Everyday he pushed me to my limit but every morning after I was ready to get right back where I left off and let him push me even harder.

I never had an interest in undergoing medical practice but I was glad to be forced into it. All this time protesting murder and death and now I could prevent it. Now I had the potential to save a life.

"I can't fail" I breathed, "This is life and death stuff, Liam"

Liam closed his magazine and sighed. He looked straight into my eyes with his intimidating chocolate brown ones that held a glimmer of righteousness and determination.

"And what I taught you wasn't? I taught you how to keep yourself alive. Consider this another asset to that training except now instead of yourself, you're keeping others alive. Everything you're going to learn about in One Direction is life and death stuff. Every single person you'll be assigned to and already have been assigned to will teach you life and death stuff. That's what this movement is about. Life and Death. Right and Wrong. The Corrupt and The Uncorrupt. Humane and Inhumane. Life and motherfucking Death... Okay, Louis? So just because you got more time with Nicholas and just because he's got you working harder and just because Nicholas is that much of a dick he's testing you instead of applauding you on your work, doesn't mean what he is teaching you is superior to what everybody else has to teach you... Or has already taught you" Liam objected.

I gulped down hard, unable to look away from his intense stare.

"If you fail it just means more training and retesting. You're young and we have time. One Direction owe you time to make up for your mistakes because you gave us time to make up for ours" Liam added, leaning back in his seat and running a hand through his already gelled back hair, "It might be life and death but when you walk out of that office you'll still be alive and nobody will be dead, no matter your result. Okay?"

"Okay"

He returned to his magazine and I returned to my textbook. He was right, this all was life and death and I had to stop being so jittery.

I took dot-points down on my notepad, trying to memorise enough of the scribblings for my test.

I knew the practical was first but I wouldn't be able to look at my notes before the theory exam anyway. Besides I'd have to remember parts of the theory in order to carry out the practical.