𝖙𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 | THE HUNGER GAMES

eighteen

Eighteen

Finnick

For the first time in my life, I had allowed myself to want someone. Cause I learned from my mistakes. Everyone I loved was always killed. One way or another. Always at the same hand. And for years now I made myself not want anyone. All the clients. All the meaningless nights spent talking on the verge of sleep. I never let myself even remotely feel sorry for them. Much less like.

And finally, when I loved someone. She gets taken away from me too. I know we keep hoping that Haymitch and Plutarch's plan will work. Hell, I even tell myself that. But the first thing that Haymitch told us was that we are expendable. Pawns in their game. Requirements to keep the Mockingjay safe.

And I was fine with it. I was fine with uprooting my life. I was fine with fighting for a cause. I was fine with dying. But then she had to come along and make me feel important. Make me feel loved and after loving me to death, she had the nerve to agree to Haymitch's terms.

I was okay with losing my life for something. But I am not okay loosing her. For anything.

I can't lose her.

Maybe that was what fuelled me as I raced down the halls of the 10th floor looking for her. I knew her room. I just needed the courage to go in. Which is why I had pacing outside for the past 10 minutes.

Her lock turned and I froze a few steps away. "Finnick?" She said, her voice groggy. "Hey, Kami." I said trying to seem like I had just arrived. "Why have you been walking around outside for so long?" She asked rubbing at her eyes and right now she looked so young.

She didn't look young. She looked her age.

We all were. Kami was barely 22. And right without her flashy outfits and heavy makeup. She looked like it. She looked closer to the Kamari I had fallen in love with years ago that the woman she was 2 hours ago.

"I just-" I had made a mistake. This was a mistake. I never should have come. I should not distract her before tomorrow. "You wanna come in?" She asked, opening the door wider and my heart gave in. I followed her in, closing the door behind me. Her body bounced as she sat on the fluffy bed, patting on the bed.

"What's wrong?" She said as I took my place. Right next to her. "I just needed to make sure you were okay." I hesitated as I took her hands.

"I'm right here, Finnick. I'm not going anywhere."