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Willow often wondered when it would start feeling warm again, hopefully soon, possibly in the next month.
It remained cold for a long time during her stays at Hogwarts but this year felt chiller than ever. The cold long days remained as time went on, something she had grown tired of.
Cedric on the other hand loves the temperature. He loved sneaking hot chocolates to her at any time of the day to warm her up, she often couldn't even figure out how he managed to do it.
Another thing she couldn't figure out was what she was going to do with her father. She didn't want to be disowned by her family like her aunt was, but she also didn't want to be without Cedric Diggory.
For multiple reasons this was true. They still had an entire year to go through together and she wouldn't survive watching him exist without her. She couldn't watch him study, laugh, or talk to other people now that she knew him. Jealously and anger would creep into every part of her body, that she knew was true.
How would she go on with her days with him there? Could she even survive heartbreak? She's never done this relationship thing before, would she ever make it out alive? Does anyone survive their first and only love?
And most importantly, how could she ever be without him? How could she wake up in the morning and go to bed without thinking of him and the ways he glanced at her? How could she be fine without his longing stares and feelings of his skin on hers? She wouldn't and she couldn't.
Ending things with Cedric wasn't an option, it wasn't even a possibility. She couldn't watch his face as he connected the dots, watch as he realized the things she said, she'd immediately regret it and take it back.
But, she knew she couldn't live without her mother or Draco. Sure, she could go off and live without her father's money and his voice in her ears, but not the others. She'd become something in this world without or without him, but not them.
Being disowned by her father and getting a small cottage with Cedric didn't sound like a bad idea at all, she'd spend her days gardening and painting, waiting for him to return home from work. She'd create a happy home full of warmth and comfort, nothing compared to the ice castle she went back to.
None of that sounded bad to her except for the parts of having no mother and no brother. Would they visit? Would they care about her still? Would they secretly hate the children they created because they weren't 100% pure-blooded?
Willow wished she could speak to her aunt Andromeda. She had so many questions and so many things to discuss, but she had no address to write to. She had nothing, not even a version of her painted on the family tree. Nothing.
