RIDE OR DIE | DARYL DIXON

the things we carry

THE GUILT CONTINUED to eat away at her during the night. She was exhausted, but no matter how long she would lay in bed with shut eyes, her mind wouldn't let her sleep. It seemed impossible for her to relax when worst-case scenarios ran rampant in her mind.

Laying in bed didn't last long for her. Within minutes she'd be up again, pacing the front porch or hiding behind their house blowing through a pack of cigarettes. The latter calms her the most, but when the buzz wears off, her mind goes racing again.

She was nearing the end of another pack when the sun had started to rise. It lit up and poked through the heavy smoke that plumed from her lips, wafting into the air and disappearing, but quickly exchanged for another long drag and puff.

Things were slowing down a bit in Alexandria. They had finally gone a whole night without another herd knocking at their doors, and their community took that as a win. Most were still sleeping, besides the few on their watch shifts or a couple that couldn't seem to sleep either.

Nevertheless, it was quiet for the hour they were approaching. So quiet, Willow could hear the sizzle and pops from the end of her cigarette and her heart accelerating as the buzz gradually came back to her.

Although she'd rather be sleeping, it was peaceful to be one of the only few awake and outside. She had noticed there was a constant hum throughout the community for weeks now. Part of it was from the hours of clearing herds, and the other part of it being the uneasy anticipation of another one coming soon. But she didn't hear that hum this morning. It was silent.

Agonizingly silent.

She perked up a bit when the silence was broken. Leaves rustled to the side of her house, but a quick peek around the corner had her even more on edge when there was no one there. She went for the knife on her belt as the other was about the snuff out the cigarette, but the source of the noise was somehow behind her now. A large hand grabbed her wrist and another came around her waist, spinning her around and pinning her to the side of the house at the same time. She gripped her knife in her hand as her heart thundered against her chest, but she sheathed it immediately and calmed down.

Daryl towered over her, keeping her in place against the house while he took her hand up to his face and had a turn at the cigarette.

"You scared the shit out of me." Willow let him finish with the cigarette before putting it out and tossing it aside. "What are you doing back, and so early too?"

"You complainin'?" He questioned. There was a hint of sarcasm in his tone that made her want to laugh, but there was also a bit of seriousness in it too that kept her quiet. "We kept rebuildin' through the night. They're finishin' it now."

"Wow, that's good- that's great."

He backed up a bit, looking at her fully.  "What's up?"

"Nothing-" She reassured, grabbing his hand and pulling him closer again. She tried to hide the squirming her body seemed to be doing under his gaze. "Nothing, I'm glad you're back."

"You sure?" He still had a questioning look on his face that made her want to cave in.

She bit her lip and nodded, but her mouth dropped open when he leaned in, brushing her hair aside and kissing her neck. Her breath was caught in her throat in the exact same spot his lips made contact with. 

She thought she was about to fold, but she pushed every feeling aside and nodded again. "Just tired, is all."

She was slightly disappointed when he backed up again.

"Can't sleep?"

"Not really." She shrugged, her fingers fumbling for another cigarette in the pack in her pocket.