DESOLATION

15

A much-awaited update. I hope I am not too late and that my readers are still waiting for me to update. 

A very long chapter to make up for not updating sooner. 

Enjoy!

INEZ

I bring the cup closer to my lips as I look outside the window where only trees are visible. One month has passed since that day and in all this time nothing has changed. I am still here, with Lorcan, living as his wife. Nothing ever changes for me except the weather. In this one month, neither did he mention Evelyn nor did I. Everything became as it was the very next day.

Nothing has changed between us and what could ever change? It is not like one day he will come and say that I have decided to change myself for you Inez and I want you to forgive me. It can only happen in my dreams and never in reality. Every day is the same for me.

My daily routine includes getting up tired from last night's activities, showering, and changing, having breakfast, spending the whole day alone in the mansion, having lunch, reading books, taking a nap, having dinner with Lorcan, and then satisfying him in bed. This is all that I do. If I am lucky then he would take me out with him but that does not happen much. Even on Sundays, he likes to stay in the mansion with me. I hate Sundays the most.

Sometimes, I think that I have become a robot. I do what is told and I no longer have a say in anything related to my life.

I tried to make friends in this mansion to help with my loneliness but no one seemed to be interested in talking with me more than what was necessary. It is either they are not interested or they are not allowed. A thought often occurs in my mind that maybe I am the ungrateful one. I am living like a queen, I can have anything I want, I live in a magnificent mansion, and on top of everything I have a husband to whom I am the most important.

I just wish I could have happiness as well.

I put the empty cup on the table which I know the maid will pick up later. As the summer is in full swing, I cannot go in the garden. I pick up my book and decide to sit with my feet in the water in the swimming pool.

When I reached the big hall which has a swimming pool, I sat down with my feet in the water. The sunlight coming from the big glass walls is illuminating the room. The water is almost reaching my calves. It feels so good. The memories of the horrible things Lorcan has done with me in this pool start to surface but I quickly divert my mind towards the book. This mansion is a nightmare for me.

I look up for a moment and my eyes fall on the girl who is in the garden. As there is a big glass wall here, I can look outside. It is a one-way glass so only the ones who are inside can see pass through it. The girl must not be older than twelve or thirteen and is cutting the flowers. There is a whole garden on this side which only has my favorite flowers. As I love white Camellia flowers so much, Lorcan makes sure that the vase in our room always has these flowers.

I want to tell Lorcan that I don't love these flowers anymore. To be honest, I hate them now and it is all because of him. Now looking at these flowers only reminds me of him and I hate everything that reminds me of him.

The thing that worries me is that she is cutting those flowers when it is so hot outside. She is only a kid and should not be outside in this hot weather. She can get sick. I wonder who told her to do this? It's not her work and what is she doing here? I have never seen her here before. I am confused as to why she is cutting them now. The flowers are to be in my room before I wake up and it is afternoon now.

Unable to sit here and look at the poor girl doing work in this heat, I took my feet out of the water and put on my sandals after drying my feet. I place the book on the chair and open the door which directly leads you outside.