DESOLATION

8

INEZ

I have been sitting on the balcony since Lorcan left after having breakfast with me. After talking with Lorcan, I had a shower and then got dressed. By the time I had come into the room, breakfast was already served. I did not want to talk with him but he was in the mood to talk today. I am truly helpless in front of him. If he wants me to do something then I have to do it no matter what just like this morning when I did not want to talk but I had to because he wanted to.

...

I came out after wearing a dress that reached my mid-thigh. The bruises which he gave me on my neck were visible but I did not do anything about it. I just brushed my hair and left it open. I entered the room and found breakfast already served. Lorcan was already seated on one of the chairs on the balcony. I thought he would have left by now. Unfortunately, he is still here.

Upon hearing my footsteps he looked at me and smiled. The smile that once took my breath away. "Come here, mo sholas gealaí. The breakfast will get cold", He called me while smiling. (my moonlight)

I wanted to scoff at his endearment which he used for me. My moonlight! So nice of him to call me his moonlight and then torture me while I continue to beg and cry. He doesn't love me, he loves to see my tears.

I wonder why he is so happy today. I hate it when he is happy. I did not say anything and just went towards the balcony. I sat on the chair facing him silently. It is not very cold today because spring has started. None of us said anything and we started eating.

"You look beautiful with my marks on your body," he suddenly said while eating. My hands stopped. I wanted to give him a good reply but then stopped myself. I have to control myself or else I will be regretting my actions by night. He is sick, I knew about it but now I am sure of it.

"How are you feeling?", he asked while eating.

"Fine," I replied shortly.

"Isn't the weather good today?"

"It's fine."

Lorcan must have noticed by now that I am not interested in talking with him. There was silence for a few minutes but then he looked at me again. I lowered my gaze and continued eating while not showing any emotions.

"I think we should go out for dinner tonight. What do you say about it? Do you have any place in your mind?"

"I don't want to go," I told him without looking at him. From the corner of my eyes, I peeked at Lorcan. He seems calm.

"Why?"

"Lorcan please, I don't want to talk about anything right now."

"I don't care."

I looked at him angrily but I could not do anything. How miserable I am.

...

After this, we had breakfast, and he continued to talk and I continued to reply. I look for my phone and remember that it must be in my purse which I had with me yesterday. I stand up to search for it and enter my room. I ignore the person standing against the wall and start searching for my purse. It is better to ignore her presence. I hope she leaves soon.

I was searching for my purse when I heard her voice, "Ma'am, what are you looking for? Tell me and I will search for you."

I turn and look at her angrily. "I don't need your help." She nodded.

When Lorcan left she came into the room and told me that she would be with me every second. I told her to leave me alone but she said she could not do anything because it was Lorcan who had ordered her to be with me the whole day till he returned. Since then she has been standing there.