DESOLATION

10

INEZ

I look at my feet in the blue water. It feels refreshing to be in the water in hot weather. Summer is in full swing here. I am sitting near the indoor pool with my feet submerged in the water. The water reaches a little below my knees. The sunlight filtering through large windows is making the water shine.

I am wearing a short peach-coloured dress which is perfect for a hot day like today. I look around and thankfully find no one.

One week has passed since the day when we consummated our marriage. The days have been the same and nothing has changed in my life. Lorcan leaves early in the morning before I wake up which I am glad for because I don't think I would like to see his face first thing in the morning. I wake up, freshen myself, and then go to the kitchen to make myself breakfast.

After having breakfast I roam in the mansion like a ghost as I have nothing to do the whole day. I either use my mobile to play games or to watch something or I sit in front of the big TV and flip channels. Sometimes my boring routine makes me feel like a prisoner. I try my best to not talk with any maid unless necessary because I know my closeness with them can risk their life.

Oisin asks me multiple times whether I need anything or not. I sleep around 4 and wake up when it is time for dinner. Usually, Lorcan returns home when it is time for dinner. A maid told me that before me he hardly ever had dinner at home but now it is becoming his daily routine. I don't like him coming home to have dinner with me but of course, I cannot do anything about it.

When the time for his return starts approaching, an uneasiness settles inside my heart. We have dinner together and sometimes his dark dominant aura makes it difficult for me to eat. I am afraid of him and I can do nothing to change this.

He asks about my day and tries to make small talk. I am afraid and on the edge the whole time he is with me because there is a constant fear in my mind of speaking something which can make him angry. Thankfully, I have not given him a chance in the last few days to be angry at me and torture me.

The nights are the same. I cannot control the physical attraction my body feels for him. It also takes Lorcan a minute to get me ready for him. Now when I think about it, I realize that Lorcan would not have been able to control himself for too long. It had to happen one day or the other. The way he makes me feel pleasure cannot be described.

The only thing I am happy about is the birth control pills so I am not worried about getting pregnant.

Suddenly the sound of footsteps echoes and that breaks the trance of my thoughts. My back stiffens and the smile on my face disappears.

"What are you doing here, Inez?" Lorcan asks me in his usual dominating tone. I look towards him and find him leaning against the door with his arms folded on his chest. His gray eyes are looking at me with undivided attention. He is wearing a black button-up shirt with jeans. He raises his eyebrow waiting for my answer and that makes me look down.

"Nothing," I replied while looking at my hands in my lap. Lorcan did not go to work today. He was with me at home and it was no less than torture for me. He was doing work from his home office today. I did not see him after breakfast but the fact that he was home kept me on edge.

From the corner of my eyes, I see Lorcan taking steps in my direction and then his feet stop near me.

"Lorcan, there is something in my mind that I was thinking of talking about," I looked up at him. He is not looking at me but at the floor-to-ceiling windows which give a beautiful view of the garden.

"I wanted to talk about Evelyn. I miss her. I wanted to know if she is fine and if there is any improvement. If you could let me talk with her doctor then I can ask her about Evelyn," I tell Lorcan while looking at my feet. The thought of Evelyn never left my mind but I was waiting for some suitable moment to talk about her. I hope she is fine and taken care of.