DESOLATION

14

Hey Readers! I am back and I am extremely sorry for making you wait this long. 

This is the chapter! I hope you enjoy it! 

INEZ

I woke up with a jerk. I sit up in bed and look at my hands. I have not forgotten anything. The horrible scene is replaying again and again in my mind. I shot someone. I shot him. These hands... I shot him with these hands. My hands have someone's blood on it. Tears start to fall down my eyes. I fired at someone just because of my stubbornness to leave Lorcan. Why did I even hold the gun? It would have been so much better if that bullet had pierced my brain instead of that man's body.

"What is the point of crying now? The deed has already been done." Lorcan's emotionless voice made me look at him. I looked towards him. I had not noticed him before because I was so lost in my thoughts. He is standing against the doorframe with a cigarette in his hand. From his looks, he does not look anywhere near calm.

"How is he now? Is he..." I started saying but could not utter that word. The four-letter word felt so heavy to utter today. I am afraid that what I am thinking might come true. Maybe I don't want to hear anything. He snickered at my question.

"Dead? Are you by chance asking about whether he is alive or not?" He taunted. I gripped the sheets tighter and looked at him with a pleading gaze. The guilt is eating me from inside.

"Tell me, please..." I begged for relief. I want him to tell me that he is fine or else this guilt will never let me have peace.

"He is fine." He said with a cruel gaze. He is alive. Thank god, nothing happened to him. I did not kill him. Relief flooded over me but before I could completely relax, Lorcan's face came into my mind and I looked at him with fear. I did not kill him but now Lorcan will surely kill me. He will not forgive me for what I have done. He is angry and no one can save me from him, not even me.

"Lorcan..." His name escaped my mouth fearfully. My hands are shaking and that is the reason why I have tightened my grip on the sheets.

"If you are going to apologize like every time then there is no need." His voice was low, dripping with restrained fury. I quickly lowered my gaze in fear. He is in no mood to listen today like every time he is angry.

He took steps towards me and this increased my heartbeat. I could hear it in my ears. Now he is standing so close to me. "You should not have done that. I was thinking of letting you meet Evelyn but after this stunt of yours, there is no chance." He said coldly with anger. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I am regretting my actions now. If he is saying that he would have let me meet her then there is no doubt in this but I ruined everything.

"Please, don't hurt... Evelyn." I said in a low voice.

"I have given your sister to a trustworthy family. They have told her that they are her family and she has believed it as well. As she thinks of them as her family she will live with them from now on."

My gaze flew towards him in shock.

"That means I will never be able to meet her," I said as his words fully registered inside my mind.

"It is the outcome of your actions." He said coldly and went inside the closet.

I could not talk with Evelyn before but at least I could see her, touch her and feel her but now I cannot even see her. She has gone so far from me that meeting her seems impossible now. Even if I escape from here, I don't know where she is and Lorcan will never tell me the whereabouts of that family. She could be in a different city or maybe in a different country. I brought the knees closer to my chest and waited for Lorcan to come back.

I want to be alone. I want him to leave me alone so I can cry over my actions.

Lorcan came back into the room and he has one gun in his hand now. I straightened up and looked at him fearing his next action. Has he brought them to punish me? He came near me and I fearfully flinched when he took out the gun from the nightstand.

"You have proved that you are not to be trusted with guns around." He said looking into my eyes and then left the room. When I was sure that he had left, my body relaxed.

I laid down on the bed and clutched the sheet tightly. Slowly tears started to fall down my eyes and I could not stop my cries as they echoed in the room.

If I could go in the past, I would stop myself from making that mistake.

Today I lost two important things. First the confidence of never shooting anyone and second my sister. I cannot believe I shot that person. He could have died. I could have become a murderer. While living with Lorcan I have started to become like him. Why am I not afraid of holding a gun? I should have stayed away from a gun like every good person does.

Slowly, I started becoming the person I was always afraid of becoming.

More than this, I am sad about my sister. Now I will never be able to meet Evelyn. Evelyn has already forgotten about me and now she will never be able to know about me. No one will help her remember me. She will never know that she has a sister, she had loving parents.

She thinks of those people as her family. I think I should forget about her too. In this way, I will not feel much pain. How many things should I forget? First Bruce and now Evelyn too.

My mom was always right. I am the one to blame because it is me who ruins everything.

I wish I ruined Lorcan''s life too and he realizes his mistakes and what his actions have caused me to become. I will never forgive you Lorcan for doing this with me.

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So, How was the chapter? I know it was not that long but the next chapter will be longer and more interesting. Please leave votes and comments. 

I will try to update the next chapter by the end of this week. I am thankful for your patience and for not leaving my book. 

About 'Confined By Vows'. I will surely make a decision by the end of next month and then maybe I will upload it back. 

Do check out my other books: 

Lethal Attraction on Noveloasis

Dark Infatuation on Goodnovel

A Tale of Dark Lust on Bravonovel.