Stuck On You

chapter 35: weisz feels alone

chapter 35: weisz feels alone

~weisz~

       I'm convinced my team hates me. I know why. They're upset because I get to take more breaks than them during our work outs. Freida doesn't tell them why when they ask, only that there is a reason, but it's nobody's business. Instead of my teammates thinking that there could be a medical reason or literally any other reason, they continue to think it's just favouritism.

       They refuse to talk to me because of it. I'm trying to make a friend, or just someone I can talk to on the team, but I've had no such luck. I know that while we are on a team, surfing is an individual sport so it's not like I have to talk to anyone, but it's what Freida wants. She believes we'll all perform better if we have a stronger bond, but I don't see it happening with me any time soon.

       At this rate, I might just ditch being on a team next year and go solo if I'm still surfing. I want to continue surfing, of course, but I can never be too sure with my health. As much as I would like to think that my cancer isn't going to return, and I am trying my hardest to think that, a small part of me while always worry it's going to return.

       Reno sits down beside me at the bonfire Freida had started on the beach for a way to relax after a long day of training and to continue getting to know each other. Everyone else is talking, but I've been silent the whole time. I know I'll end up killing the conversation if I say something. Reno hands me a roasting stick with a marshmallow already on it. I smile, but it's a small one since I'm not in the best mood. "Thanks."

       "You okay?" Reno asks. I guess he can tell that my smile isn't as genuine as it normally is.

       My smile falters since with Reno, I know I never have to try to hide how I'm truly feeling. "Not really, no. This whole thing has just been a bummer."

       "You've been doing well during practices, though."

       "It's not exactly the practices that are dragging my mood down. This whole weekend is supposed to be getting closer as a team, but I'm being excluded. I can't even think of anything I can do to make them not mad at me without telling them why I get more breaks."

       "Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything you can do. Freida has told them when they complain about it that there's a personal reason, but they still don't care. Humans are nosy. It's like they'll need to know the reason so they can get over it."

       "I'm not telling them. You know I don't want to."

       "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just pointing out that there's not much you can do about it."

       "It sucks."

       "Yeah, I know."

       To try to take my mind of it it, I hold the roasting stick right above the fire so it will slowly roast to a light-golden colour, my preferred way to roast marshmallows. I like when it's perfectly toasty on the outside and gooey on the inside.

       Reno, on the other hand, sticks his roasting stick directly in the fire. His marshmallow catches on fire, so he takes the stick out and just watches his marshmallow burn until it's burn to a crisp on the outside. He finally blows it out then. "You're insane," I say.

       "What?" Reno asks. "This is the best way to eat it."

       "It absolutely is not. The best way is for it to be lightly golden. Not burnt, but still not raw." Reno shrugs and takes the burnt marshmallow of the stick before popping it in his mouth. I'm horrified at how he can enjoy something so revolting. "Like how it tastes?"

       Reno nods since he's still chewing on the marshmallow. When he swallows, he leans close to me and whispers in my ear, "I'd prefer to taste something else."

       I furrow my eyebrows. "Like what?"

       Reno moves away from me and sighs. "You're such a himbo."

       I wonder why Reno would call me a himbo, but it's normally because I don't get the hint of what he's saying. I wrack my brain of all the possibilities Reno could have meant before I come up with an answer. I playfully nudge Reno. "Stop that. Not this weekend."

       "I know. I just like teasing you."

       Freida has brought out quite a bit of marshmallows and said we could each have two, so I tell Reno, "I'm going to get another marshmallow," before I head to the table the marshmallows, smore ingredients, and some drinks are set on. One of my teammates is there, struggling to open a bottle of water. "I can help."

       Though I make no effort to grab the bottle, Marina moves her hands away. "I got it," she snaps as if offering to help was really a curse I had just placed on her entire family.

       "Okay, sorry."

       Marina still tries to twist off the cap, but isn't able to succeed. She huffs and places the water bottle back on the table, shaking her hand before she can try again. "Damn, this thing is stuck on here." I want to offer my help again, but I don't want to anger her even more, so I bite my tongue.

       Kyle walks over to the table, seeing Marina struggle. "Here, let me help." Marina gives Kyle the bottle with no hesitation. Kyle tries to open it, but also can't. He smacks the lid on the table a few times, then tries to open it again, successfully. He hands it to Marina. "Smacking it always helps."

       "Thank you," Marina says. "I thought I was never going to get that open."

       Honestly, seeing how receptive Marina was to Kyle's help stings a lot. It just cements how alone I feel on the team. I'm trying. I really am. But they all hate me. It upset me enough to make me completely lose my appetite. I walk inside the house and into the room I'm staying in. Reno walks in a few moments later, having noticed I left the bonfire. "I saw that," he says. "I'm sorry."

       "I don't know what to do anymore, Reno," I say as I lie down on the bed. Reno lies down beside me. "The entire team acts like I'm some evil person. I'm never going to bond with any of them."

       "I can give them all a talking to."

       "You mean threaten them?"

       "...No?"

       I sigh. "No, it's fine. That will probably just make thing worse. I'll just... Keep my head down. Focus on my own surfing and just not bother with the rest of the team. Freida will probably talk to them if she notices they're isolating me." Though honestly, I don't think that will make a difference. Reno is right. Humans are nosy. My team likely won't ignore me until they find out the truth, but I don't want to have to tell everyone my personal life to them. I shouldn't have to.

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weisz :( reno is trying his best not to fight/argue with everyone tbh.