Cricket: Ember's Story

Out of Nowhere

I have another visit with Cricket today. I thought about asking West to come with me this time, but then I figured Cruz would probably have an issue with it. They barely let me see Cricket and I gave birth to him! What if I brought a total stranger?

I find myself wishing I did, though, much quicker than I thought I would. The reason why is because I see Jesse. He's standing in the lobby of the foster care agency leaning against a wall, both hands in his pockets, one leg bent so his foot is pressed up on the wall behind him. He's intently watching the door, so he sees me long  before I notice him. The door opens again as I stand there dumbstruck. A blast of frigid air and a family of four both push me further into the lobby. At that point Jesse smiles and starts walking over.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss when he gets close.

"I'm here because I knew you would show up at some point to see the baby," he says.

"So you just randomly stalked the place? I have these visits a couple times a month! You're telling me you've been coming here every day for two weeks?" I ask incredulously.

Jesse shrugs and looks at me like I'm the weird one. "Where else was I gonna see you? Except that one time on the street... with him."

"Yeah I saw you too. From far away."

"What's his name anyway?"

I roll my eyes. "West."

Jesse laughs. "Like Manifest Destiny?"

"Yes," I answer flatly. "Manifest fucking Destiny. If you must know."

"Wow. Okay. Sorry, just making small talk. You don't have to be such a bitch."

"Last time I saw you, you gave me a concussion. Why are you here?" I ask again, tiredly.

"I want to see the baby," Jesse says.

"You are not going to see him."

"I have every right to."

"You don't even know his motherfucking name! You're doing this just to get to me!" I snap.

"How would you know why I'm doing it?"

"Because I know you! I know how you play these mind games with me!"

"You're insane, Ember. You really have a problem with seeing the worst in people, you know that?" Jesse says, shaking his head.

"Plus, even if you did care about Cricket all the sudden, you have done exactly ZERO of the work involved with earning the right to visitation. Zero. I've worked my fucking ass off! There is no way they're letting you in that room!"

My voice falters and I realize I'm nervous. What if they do let him in? I don't know how any of this works.

"How did you even know about me getting him back anyway?" I ask.

"When you left I put things together pretty easily. It makes sense now. All of it... how weird and secretive you've been, how you've pulled away..." he says. "And I want to be part of it, Ember, with you. We can be together and do this together."

I'm trembling. I've wanted to hear those words for so long. So very long. Now, when he finally says them, all I feel is dread.

"Jesse... no. You need help before you can be a father to Cricket," I say gently.

"I don't need 'help' to be with the girl I love and the family we made!" he says rigidly.

"Don't do this. Just let us go. It's for the best."