When we see things that cause us great pain our first response may be to run, to run away from my pain and to try to never look back. That is what I did, I ran straight into the generous arms of Khaos who offered me a powerful position as general of...
It takes all of my willpower to not leave the room and start on deadly manhunt for the demigod who ruined my life. As Clarisse continues to explain the incident that I remember so clearly my fists grow tight, my nails dig into the palm of my hands leaving curved gashes in my palms with small drops of blood falling onto my lap.
"So when you asked us if we believed you, there was no doubt in this room because this is not the first time he has done this, he just took a break for a while" Will explains once Clarisse finishes explaining the worst day of my life.
For the past two years I have managed to control the tugs in my gut as the water calls for my control, it had gotten easier to ignore as time progressed but since the water healed me the tugging sensation had returned and today it begged for my control. I take a deep breath hoping to control it but it does not reside. Abruptly I stand from my seat,
"Sorry, I need to go and rest" I lie, "I am not entirely healed yet and I can feel my body draining with energy." With that I leave the room, glad to be out of that confining room. I avoid the tent, not wanting to answer the questions that Huntress or Callista may have and instead head for the forest where soon I find myself at Zeus's fist.
My rage boils within me as I pace trying to soothe but the pacing does not work instead I impulsively punch a large rock, regret immediately appears as my hands throbs with pain. I erupt with anger, shouting at the top of my lungs, I fall to my knees my left hand holds my throbbing right hand. My chest rises and falls quickly as I feel myself slowly beginning to calm down.
Behind me footsteps cautiously approach, I look over my shoulder to see Thalia standing with a look of concern.
"If you are here to lecture me or hit me please now is not the time" I plead.
"I'm not" She says her voice soft and gentle, "I wanted to see if you are okay"
I rise one knee and push myself up and begin to pace again. From her belt, Thalia takes out a vile of Nectar and offers it to me. I take it and pour it over my grazed knuckles, they start to heal immediately. I give her a soft thanks as I return the vile and continue to pace.
"It wasn't her" I say with a quiet voice, but then I am reminded by his actions, "It wasn't her!" I yelled even louder as I try to shout away my aching pain.
This takes Thalia by surprise,
"I left like a coward" I rant, "I have faced Kronos, Titans, Giants and Gods and yet I could not face an argument with my girlfriend"
"Percy, you didn't know"
"I should not have run Thalia, I should have stayed behind and faced her then I would have found Annabeth by the lake and not kissing that brat!" I shout, "If I had stayed then I would have seen that that was in fact an empousai and I could have stopped Carter then instead now there are children who are dead all because I am a coward"
A compassionate expression sits on her face, "Percy-"
"DO NOT SAY MY NAME!" I shout, my outburst causes her to take a few wary steps back with shock, "Please" I say a little softer.
"Why?" She asks now agitated, "Why are you hiding behind a hood, if you had just shown your face then answers would have come to you a lot sooner as well as other things"
"It is easier" I say as I move towards a tree and slide down to the ground my heels push away fallen leaves, "It will make it less painful when I leave if they don't know"
"Per-Omega, you cannot turn your back on camp again" She begs, "There is so much that you do not know that will make you stay, if you only just speak to Annabeth as yourself"
"Like what?" I snap.
"It is not my place to say" She says as she slides down a tree to the ground.
I sigh with frustration unsure of what to do next, for the past few years a mindset about Annabeth had been built to hide all of our good memories to make the pain easier but now that wall is crumbling and the pain is only going to get worse.
"So, who are the other guys?" Thalia asks with a suspicious tone.
My body tenses, now that Thalia knows, it would not take long for her to figure out the rest. Unlike me the others could not be found out or revealed as after this they would return with the rest still thinking they were dead, but with me they know that I am not dead as I am sure that Nico would announce it to the camp.
"Demigods that died before our time" I lie, "They were already in the army, I just picked them for my cohort when I was offered the position"
Unsure of what to make of my lie she changes the topic, "Have you seen your mother recently?"
"I called her a few days ago but physically, no"
"Perhaps you should go see her, she misses you" She smiles, "She invites Annabeth, Grover and I over every year on your birthday for blue waffles"
A smile tugs on my face as the warm memories of the blue food that my mom would often make me come to mind. We continue to talk about my desire for blue food and the old days of quests like there was no pain and regret in our world. I have missed Grover these past years, for most of my quests we would be there by my side through all of the terrors and battles and I am quite glad that he is not here as I think it would be hard for me to see him and to not be able to give him a hug.
"How are Rachel and Tyson?" I ask as they come to mind, "Are they still in New Rome?"
Thalia nods, "They are, the Romans seem to have been a bit wary of Tyson and Ella at first but they warmed up to the both of them and with their help, Rachel has managed to reconstruct more of the Sibylline books than any other"
Rachel had always been destined for special things, before the battle against Kronos there were some doubts but when she managed to convince her parents to help us in exchange for going to some fancy girls school called Chariot Ladies Academy or something like that. I knew without a doubt that she was special, and it didn't end there when she was given the title of the Oracle of Delphi due to her ability to have futuristic visions.
"That's good" I say with a gentle sense of pride, "If anyone could do it, I have no doubt that it would be them especially Tyson, he is far more capable than any of us give him credit for"
Thalia stands up and brushes any clinging dirt off of her huntress outfit,
"You have changed a lot more than I had thought you would when you would eventually return" She admits as she leaves me with me on my own with my thoughts to decide whether that is a good or bad thing.
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