Never Have I Ever|| z.m

Daddy Issues

Maybe I was crazy for doing this. Completely out of my mind. But I wanted to confront him again. I wanted to see the look on his face while I destroyed every ounce of his self-esteem and pride. I wanted to cause my dad as much pain and agony as he caused me.

I don't really remember who convinced me. I think it was a collaboration of Niall, Zayn and Liam. I barely noticed their persuasiveness though. It was all really subtle except for Liam. He just went right out there and talked about my dad.

"So have you decided on whether or not you want to reach out to your father?" I was startled by his bluntness in the matter. It had been nearly two weeks since I had seen my father and talked to my mom about it. I had his number saved in my phone, my mom had given it to me, but I hadn't called him.

"I haven't really thought about it." I said with a shrug.

"Oh come on, I know you. You've definitely contemplated it and have come up with several scenarios about what will happen if you do meet up with him." I sighed because he was right. I don't like going into situations blind.

"Okay, I've thought about it but I haven't made a decision." I said with a sigh as I stirred my cereal around in my bowl.

"You should decide soon. It's stressing you out."

"It's not that easy." I murmured.

"I know it's not but it will be easier once you decide on something." Again, he was right. I smiled and he steered the conversation away from my dad soon after.

Niall was subtle in the way that he mentioned how his parents never seemed to care about him. They barely batted an eye about him going to jail and he mentioned how he wished they were more involved in his life like my parents were. I corrected him by saying my dad didn't give two shits about me but he simply replied with,

"Kind of sounds like he wants to give two shits but you won't let him." He shrugged and I was surprised how my best friend sounded so serious but minutes later he was showing me some cat video and cracking up.

With Zayn, when I asked him how his sisters were doing he smiled and started telling me about how Safaa had won some singing contest at school and how he was very proud of her.

"They really missed me though they said." He mused lightly. "Waliyha said Safaa is a bit more frightened now that I'm gone."

"How come?" I asked. He licked his lips.

"Because of my dad. She thinks he'll come back while I'm gone and hurt them while I'm away." He shrugged. "I've told her time and time again that he won't but she doesn't believe me." He sighed. "I kind of wish I could confront him and make him see what he did to her but whatever." I smiled softly and he turned the conversation away from his family.

They somehow influenced me one way or another until one night I found myself calling my father in my dorm late at night. Despite it being nearly one in the morning, he answered his cellphone on the third ring. "Hello?" He said groggily. I didn't reply at first, the greeting stuck in my throat. I hated the sound of his voice. It brought back so many bad memories. "Who is this?" He asked.

"It's me." I didn't even have to say my name. All I had to do was speak.

"Amelia? Emma what's wrong?" I didn't reply again be chase I was too dumbstruck.

"Nothing.. Nothing's wrong." I replied mildly.

"So what do you need?" He asked. I bit my lip.

"M-mom said you wanted to meet." I started slowly.

"Yes, yes I do. Do you want to meet me?" I wanted to say no. That I was calling him because I never wanted to see him again but my brain didn't catch up with my mouth.