Never Have I Ever|| z.m

The Hard Truth

"Remember when we first talked about our dads?" I asked quietly. Harry pulled the cigarette from his lips and passed it to me as he blew out the smoke.

"You mean when I was an asshole?" He asked turning his head to look at me. We were lying on the floor in the small living room of my dorm. Key had gone to bed already and it was nearly one in the morning but I couldn't go to sleep and Harry squad he'd stay up with me. I smile lightly.

"Yeah, you slammed me into the lockers."

"Sorry about that." He murmured, staring at me earnestly. I nodded.

"It's okay." I said looking at him as I took a drag on the cigarette. "Well, you mentioned how your dad was dead and how mine was still.."

"Fuckin walking around." He finished, talking the cigarette back as I handed it to him. I laughed a little.

"Yeah." I paused to watch him smoke. He always looked so concentrated when he did it and dare I say hot, especially with the tattoos inked across his skin. "Well, I never thought of it like that." He turned his head back to look at me. "I mean, I knew he was still out there but I never really thought about where he might be or anything like that and frankly, I didn't care." He placed the cigarette back between my fingers. "But after you mentioned that he was still out there all I could think about for the longest time after that was that I could run into him. I could run into my dad and it'd be the worst experience of my life."

"I'm sorry I did that." He said softly.

"No it's not your fault." I replied turning to face him, careful not to let the cigarette touch the ground. "It was just my overactive imagination." I murmured. "I had a panic attack thinking about it one time." I continued with a shrug. Harry licked his lips as he brushed some of my hair out of my face.

"Don't think about him. You said you won't let your dad control your life like he controlled mine. Don't become like me."

"You make it sound like you're some bad guy in a cheesy superhero movie." He didn't say anything. "You're not that bad Harry." I told him honestly, my hand finding his on the floor.

"Well I did torture you for nearly four years straight."

"I think the point is that you stopped, you grew up and we're friends now."

"I think you're too nice for your own good." I smiled lightly. "I haven't even forgiven myself. For you and for all the other kids whose lives I made hell."

"Maybe you should apologize to them. It might make you feel better." Harry shook his head.

"I don't think they'd want to hear that from me." He paused. "Besides, we're not talking about me. We're talking about your dad." I sighed and gestured for Harry to take the cigarette, I didn't want it anymore but when he shook his head, I stubbed it out in the ashtray on the coffee table next to me.

"I'd rather talk about anything else actually." I replied. He was quiet.

"So, I heard you and Kendall are a thing?" I arched my eyebrows at him, confused. I hadn't told anyone except Key. Maybe she told them. Or maybe Kendall is running his mouth.

"Kendall and I aren't a thing. We just make out sometimes." Harry smirked.

"Of all the guys on this campus you gotta pick the asshole? You punched him and I threatened to kill him if he touched you. Should I follow through on my promise?" He asked. I started laughing.

"Who would you rather have me pick?" I asked he seemed to think for a moment. His cheeks turned a bit red but I didn't think anything of it because it was kind of warm on the floor and we were laying down really close to each other.