Breaking Point

34. Lost

"Everyone meet Lily Kayla Hood." I said, turning around to face everyone in the room as I held my precious daughter in my arms. They all awed and got closer as they all asked to hold her. I handed her to Kayla who was smiling wide.
"First, her God Mother." I said, smiling. Kayla looked to me and her mouth was wide open.
"Really?" I nodded and smiled. There was a tiny squeak and we all look to Lily. She slowly opened her eyes for the first time. They were green, just like mine. Her whole face was perfect. She has Calum's nose and black hair, and my green eyes and face shape. She looked up to Kayla and and then started whimpering. Before I could get to her, she was in Calum's arms with a bottle in her mouth. They both looked at me and I smiled. Minutes later of talking about various things, Lily started to cry for me. She instantly stopped when I took her from Calum.
"Ha." I said to Calum. He rolled his eyes and sat next to Luke on the couch. It's been only two days since Lily came, and so far it's been.... Interesting. I don't think I'll get used to the every two hour feeding times and icky diapers. But other than that, it's been great. Calum has been extremely supportive and I really hope he stays like this. I took a pack of  baby puffs and sat next to Ashton on the couch. I took one out and was about to put it in my mouth before Lily unexpectedly reached up and took it carefully from my hand and put it in her mouth.
"Hey! That was Mommy's. Don't eat Mommy's food!" She giggles and I rolled my eyes and took another one out. It was them snatched out of my hand AGAIN by Ashton. I glared at him and he bursted out in his little school girl laugh. I couldn't help but laugh too. Lily whimpered and I looked to her and she was looking at Ashton.
"You wanna hold her?" I asked Ashton. He looked between us both and nodded his head. I passed Lily to him and he held her out like he was going to break her.
"Ash. You're not going to break her." I laughed. He pulled her to his chest and laid her in his arms, smiling. Lily then reached up and started to play with his curly hair. Ashton was bent over as I laughed at him. He rolled his eyes and was sitting up but Lily grabbed his hair again, causing me to laugh harder.
"Have fun. I'm getting a drink." Ashton sarcastically laughed as I went to the kitchen. I ended up getting apple juice. I was pouring it when suddenly, I felt arms wrap around my stomach. Calum put his head in the crook of my neck and kissed it. I smiled and turned around.
"Hey there." I giggled, giving Calum a quick kiss.
"Hey babe." He smiled. I walked to get a glass and turned to see him still smiling.
"Ok, what do you want?" He shook his head and pulled me into another hug.
"Just happy that I have such a beautiful wife and a precious daughter that I'll come home to every day." I blushed a little and hugged him.
"And I'm happy that i have such an amazing husband who helps me and takes care of me. For better or for worse." He nodded and kissed the top of my head. How did I get so lucky?

Lilly's cry woke me up in the middle of the night.
"I got it." Calum said, getting up from the bed.
"No, you went last time." I said, following him out.
"Then we'll both go." I shrugged and followed him into Lily's room. Calum walked to the crib and picked up Lily. She instantly stopped crying. I grabbed a bottle of milk from the heater and passed it to Calum. He took it and Lily happily started to drink it. I smiled at them as Calum looked down to her, swaying back and forth. So enough, she was finished and drifting off to sleep again. I took her from Calum's arms and kissed her on the head before putting her back. I smiled and Calum kissed my head as he wrapped his arms around me.
"I love you." Calum whispered. I smiled I leaned back on him.
"I love you too."

Calum P.O.V.
Gwen rocked Lily back and forth. They're so beautiful.. I can't believe both of them are mine. Lily suddenly started to cry.
"Oh. I see you have a present." Gwen laughed. I rolled my eyes and stood up to get her.
"I still love you!" She said as I took Lily from her arms.
"I love you too." I said giving her a kiss before taking Lily to change her. She took a really big dump. That's great. I changed her quickly and walked back to see that Gwen was slowly falling asleep.
"Take a nap babe." I laughed. She smiled and nodded.
"I am. Great job with the diaper." I laughed and fake bowed.
"Why thank ya my queen." She laughed and nodded. I love her laugh. It's so contagious.
"No problem. Now let me get my beauty sleep. Love you" she gave me a quick kiss before getting up and kissing me and Lily quickly.
"Love you too. I'm going to put Lily down." She nodded and laid back down in the rocking chair. I walked back to Lily's room. I rocked her crib back and forth until she drifted off to sleep. I smiled and left the room. I walked in to see Gwen sleeping peacefully. She looked so uncomfortable. I grinned and grabbed a blanket to put around her. I grabbed the fluffy penguin one that Luke bought Lily. I accidentally hit the table causing a loud band. Shit. But surprisingly Lily didn't cry. I sighed in relief and turned to Gwen. I placed the blanket on her. She didn't move at all. I looked at her again and she still didn't move.
"Gwen?" I asked. She didn't move. I shook her shoulder, nothing.
"GWEN" I yelled, shaking her violently. Then I realized that her chest wasn't moving up and down. She's not breathing.
"OH MY GOD GWEN WAKE UP" I yelled. I instantly pulled her to the floor to perform CPR.
"Please.... Please...." I whispered, pushing her chest harder and giving her mouth to mouth quicker.
"FUCKING GOD WAKE UP GWEN" I yelled, as I started to cry. I grabbed her phone and pressed emergency.
"911 what's your emergency?" I could barely speak as I cried hysterically.
"My wife.... She... She.. Feel asleep and isn't breathing!" I yelled. I heard mumbling and Lily's cries, but it was muffled out as I hugged her and cried the hardest I ever have my whole life.

"I'm sorry but... Gwen didn't make it... I'm sorry Calum." Those exact words made me loose it. I collapsed onto the floor, and screamed. I held my knees to my chest and cried. I screamed over and over and nurses ran to me trying to clam me down. I looked to see Gwen's mom breaking down in her dads arms. I screamed again and closed my eyes.
"What happened?!" I heard Kayla's frantic voice, causing me to cry even harder. I felt Michael sit next to me and pulled me into a hug. I sobbed into his chest as I heard Kayla scream.
"This is all my fault" I said. He said nothing but hugged me harder as I felt one of his tears landed on hand.

AUTHORS NOTE; I have no words for what I have done. I cried while writing this so I feel you guys. I'm sorry.