She Doesn't Care . (Being Edited)

Over - Exaggerated . ; Chapter Five .

I don't really like this chapter , but what I can say .

More talk about drugs , for the record .





Back to the story .

After that disastrous relationship , I gave up on guys .

I know that I was only in Eighth Grade , but I felt scarred . I literally gave two people my all , and it wasn’t enough .

So what the hell was I suppose to do ? Start giving more than I had ?

At that point , I felt like I had nothing .

My heart stayed with both my ex’s , way-to-long .

 

I felt broken .

　

During Eighth Grade , I can say I changed a lot more than I already had . I started smoking more , drinking more , just really not giving a fuck about anything . Or trying not too .

In my own personal opinion , I don’t consider Marijuana a drug , so I’m not going to call it one .

I used it for good reasons , or reasons I believed were good .

Life would’ve been unbearable without weed .

The alcohol wasn’t even too important , I just liked being able to not feel myself . To not be in control .

But that’s probably because I thought that I was such a fuck up when I was control , that maybe I’d be a little better when I wasn’t .

I wasn’t really right on that one .

But yes , I admit ; Weed was my savior . I know that’s not a good thing for an Eighth Grader to be thinking , but it is what it is .

　

Despite all that , Eighth Grade was okay .

No , not okay . It was bearable . Maybe .

The only thing I was happy about doing during that year was passing all my classes . Some how .

My Mother was pretty happy about that , not that that meant anything to me . She was as bad as usual . I wouldn’t see her for a few days , than I’d see her and she’d be drunk . We’d fight . My step-father would break it up . And than the next day she would take me to do whatever I wanted . That was her pathetic way of saying , ‘ I’m sorry ‘ . Buying me something , or doing something for me that I’d been asking for . Than after that , we’d be okay . Till the next time she decided to try to talk to me drunk .

Just talking about her makes me want to punch something .

Backing up ,

I was stoked for summer . I thought it was going to be great , to be fabulous . I’d finally be away from all these people that I had to spend that last ten months with . I felt like I deserved at least two months of peace .

I was wrong about that summer ,

The summer before Freshman Year , s-u-c-k-e-d .

I spent every single day of that summer home , on my couch , not getting up , feeling like I was about to die .

It was pretty bad , maybe even horrible .

I couldn’t stand up without feeling like I was going to faint . I refused to go to the hospital , refused to do anything .

It was probably because I didn’t eat . Well , that’s a little over exaggerated . I ate , about once a day . I never thought about it , or I just didn’t feel like it . No one in my family really noticed either .

My friends didn’t even notice , but that’s probably because I never went to lunch .

Most kids love lunch . A whole twenty or thirty minutes without work , talking with all your friends .

I more than hated lunch . I’d spend my lunch in the art room , hanging out with my art teacher .

Sounds pathetic , right ?

It kind of was . But I enjoyed it . I got time off each day that I didn’t have to deal with other kids .

It was the best part of the day .

Anyway , back to that summer .

It blowed beyond belief .

I was actually excited to finally go back to school .

Lie .

I was just excited to finally leave my house , with reason .

And it was High School .

It was a new start .

And more than likely a shitty one .

But I was ready for it .

Going into Freshman year , I was prepared for the worse .

Prepared for death .

Yeah , that’s a little over-exaggerated too .