Mr. Toby Cavanaugh (A spoby story)

The regret within me

Spencer POV
I tried to wipe the last couple of months out of my mind. I tried to forget everything that happened. I tried to remove all the pain.
I tried to stop caring about him.

He has been gone for just over a month, I think it's time to move on from him, time to stop holding on to something I'll never have. I'm starting a fresh. Living my life the way I want too, not my parents way. All my dad wants is for me to win, win anything I can no matter what the cost. Mum, is more interested in Melissa new fiancée. And Melissa, she only cares about herself.
So, I wear what I want to, I have the bag I want, I win things because I want to.
I've even met a guy, his names Alex, he's working in the cafe. 2 weeks ago, I was in the cafe looking at my sisters wedding magazines and I wasn't looking where I was going, I accidentally knocked coffee down Alex's shirt and we got talking.

He's a really nice guy, he's always there for me. He's tall, brown haired and has brown eyes. There's only so many words you can use to describe someone who you don't really know, but I like him, and I can only grow to like him.
Although Alex distracts my thoughts, I just keep seeing the cavanaugh house up for sale. Wondering why Toby didn't tell me, I guess I didn't mean anything to him.

'Spencer?' Mr Tamborelli beckons.
I snapped back to reality.
'Yes?'
'Are you ok Spencer? The test began 20 minutes ago and you haven't written a word'
'Shit' I murmur to myself.
'Yes, sorry I'm fine' I look around me and notice everyone has written a page
'can I be excused'
'Yes, you can have five minutes'
'Thank you' I get up and walk out the class, I stop and lean against the wall just outside the room. I can't think straight, I need air.
Once in the toilets I lean against the sink, I can't breathe, I look at myself in the mirror,  I'm pale, pale as a ghost. My heart begins racing, pumping to fast you couldn't count the beats if you tried. I clutch at my chest.
'Come on Spencer think, breathe' I know I am having another panic attack, this is the second one in a month. I lean against the wall. I take strong intakes of breathe and drop onto my knees. The bathroom door swings open,
'Spencer?' Mrs Montgomery comes over to me
'are you ok'
I slowly stand up, my breathing back to normal, my heart rate has rested. 'I'm fine, will everyone stop asking me if I'm ok!' I push her arm off my shoulder and walk out the room.
Ella Montgomery has known me for years, being Arias mum. And yet I just spoke to her like I hated her.
I walk outside the school, look left then right, contemplating what to do and sit on the last step.
'Why me, why me' I break down, tears stream down my face.
'I'm not ok, is that what everyone wanted to here!' I drop my bag and sob into my hands. I am not the Spencer Hastings I used to be.

The vice principals office

'Mr Hastings, thank you for coming' Mr Hackett said as he opens the door to my father. There is no need for him to be here. It's pointless I have nothing I want to say to him, nor do I have anything to say to Hackett.
'What is this about?' The same old sentence starter, my dad isn't interested unless it was
'Spencer won..'
'Spencer achieved'
'Spencer, the gold girl.'
He isn't going to be impressed, I decide its best if I switch off, it's not like I'll get a word in anyway.
'Spencer, has been slacking, she's not achieving like she used to.'
It isn't that I'm not trying, I am. But everything I do is wrong and that isn't like me.
'Spencer, is this true?'
Why does he ask such stupid questions, its obviously true otherwise I wouldn't be here and neither would he. This is the only way to maintain my fathers attention.
I nod I'm not talking to him nor am i looking at him.
'Peter, I don't know what action you want to take with your daughter' taking action. I don't need and intervention if they want me to achieve I'll achieve, I'll do anything let me just get out of here!
'Mr Hackett, when you say Spencer is under achieving, how bad are we talking?'
I look at him, scowling as I do.
'She's missed three essay deadlines, and in Mr Tamborelli class today she didn't even begin her assignment.'
Ok I have no excuse for them.
'Spencer, what is going on in your head?'
I am still looking at him, in the eyes now, grinding my teeth, he is irritating me, making my blood boil.

'YOU WANT TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN MY MIND? LET ME TELL YOU, YOU CAME HERE TODAY JUST BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT I'D WON SOMETHING, BECAUSE I'D MADE DADDY PROUD, YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE IF I'D JOINED A NEW CLUB, DONE SOMETHING I WANTED TO. AND YOU'RE RIGHT IM NOT ACHIEVING, MAYBE YOUR THINKING I DID IT TO GET YOUR ATTENTION BUT I DIDNT. IM USED TO YOU NOT CARING, IM DOING THIS BECAUSE I MISS'
I stop and look at hacketts face, I know what i was about to say. My dad stares at me bewildered by my outburst.
'Spencer let's take this home, thank you Mr Hackett' he stands up and grabs my arm, I try to move but his grip is firm.

The Hasting house
I walk in the house, make myself a drink, sit at the table and stare at Melissa who is led on the couch looking a wedding magazines.
'Spencer, I said wait when you got out of the car' he grabs my drink as he walks past me.
'I was drinking that!'
' you are not drinking anything right now, you're listening, do I make myself  clear?'
I don't reply to him, i just roll my eyes.
Melissa sits up and puts her book to one side, why she'd want front row seats for this.
'Veronica? Melissa, where is your mum?'
'She's upstairs' Melissa says as she glaring at me.
Mum comes down and makes her way towards me, round two here we go.
'Spencer, what happened today?'
'Nothing mum, I doesn't matter'
'Spencer it's does matter' dad chips in, I hate this house, I feel like I'm on trial all the time.
'I didn't finish an assignment, dads over reacting' I regret saying that but it's to late now.
'I'm over reacting, Spencer let's remember your outburst in Mr hacketts room today' he looks at mum as if she's supposed to back him up.
'Your outburst?' She repeats.
'Yes, my outburst, I'm sick of everyone expecting to much from me!'
'I was never like this, when I was a school' Melissa has to have a dig, of course she does, that its I'm not having anymore.
'I'm sick of this, I'm sick of all of you.'
I get up and grab my bag, whatever I am doing I'm not being here tonight.
'Spencer'
'Spencer'
I ignore them all and continuing going.

I walk outside and look at the cavanaugh house, I stand there for a few moments then notice i am being watched. Someone, is stood behind the tree next to the cavanaugh house. I'm about to go towards them when Alex comes behind me a grabs my waist.
'Hey' he says as he spins me round and kisses me.
'Hey, I thought you was a work?'
'Im going now' he kisses me again, he's very full on, we've only been dating two weeks.
'I'll see you later spence'  he hugs me then continues going.
'Bye' I shout and smirk to myself, he'd made my day so much better, I'm glad i have someone like him in my life.
My mind turn back onto the creep who is watching me, I was going to go to arias but I want to know who it it.
As I begin crossing over the road, they turn around so I can't see their face. Im to stressed to deal with stalkers right now.
I grab there shoulder and spin them round
'do you..' I can't believe my eyes
'Spencer' those pretty blue eyes look at me.
'Toby'