Fan Service [Yunho]

20

I'm sorry I withdrew from this book...again...tbh the original draft I posted of this chapter was horrible. It was too rushed and fucked up the story so I didn't know how to keep going...

So...I rewrote it and am hoping it inspires me to keep going

(also sorry if you read the literal pile of dog shit i posted the first time...this is much better)
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I did what Yunho asked me to, ignoring the usual guilt about allowing him to pay for everything, and watched movie after movie from the comfort of the bed. I took it as seriously as if it were an official work assignment. I actually found it fun, and ate whatever my heart desired, starting with a cinnamon roll the size of my hand.

I munched it down with a happy hum while selecting my first movie of the day. And since this was a work assignment...I took notes.

It started off as general observations about the film but very quickly delved into critiques about the camera angle and acting. By the second film, I was a full-fledged critic with a flair for the obscene and anything involving Florence Pugh.

It was 6:00 PM by the time I finally grew bored, and I realized Yunho would be prepping to go on stage.

"Break a leg!" I texted him, just as my barbecue burger arrived. I hoped he was missing me as much as I was missing him.

I waited for the text bubble, and frowned when it didn't come. I felt the familiar ache of abandonment hit my chest but I tried not to spiral...he must've just been busy.

I resumed taking notes on movies instead of spiraling like usual, noticing when editors missed things like an actor's hair being down even though it was in an updo moments before, and wondering how these movies even got made when boom mics were in the shot.

I often found myself distracted, though, with frequent checks of my phone. I was so desperate for even an ounce of Yunho's attention that I decided to search for another livestream, hoping I would find one focused on him this time.

I searched, "Yunho Toronto," and my heart stopped when I saw the first article.

Yunho from Ateez spotted with a secret girlfriend! Fans shocked!

Oh fuck...

If they had found out about me I could be found by my family...

They could force me to go back...

I clicked into the article so fast that my finger nearly slipped, and I scrolled through it hurriedly scanning for any indicator that my name or location was doxed, until something even worse flashed on the screen...

Fellow actress and Imitation co-star Lim Nayoung (29) cozied up to ATEEZ's Jeong Yunho (26) at a Toronto museum ahead of ATEEZ's show. The couple was spotted holding hands and heading to the singer's performance together.

Later this afternoon, fans noticed her cheering him on during soundcheck, confirming long-suspected rumors as true.

This on-screen couple has an off-screen romance!
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I reread the article a few times, sitting in disbelief and finding myself staring at the photo of them. The same Yunho who had shared a bed with me... The same Yunho who had kissed me just this morning...had a girlfriend?

My fingers shook as I clicked out of Google and into TikTok where my feed was flooded with video after video of her cheering him on in the rain during soundcheck. He even waved at her from the stage, his hair shaggy and soaked.

I paused the video...

I stared at his smile...at his easy laugh and sparkling eyes that I thought had been reserved only for me. I started to wonder if any of it was real. Maybe he was just feeling guilty that he had more money and resources than me and decided to be nice because out of pity...maybe he was playing the long game and hoped a story would come out about how kind he'd been to the poor fan who had no shoes. Whatever the reason...it was clear I didn't matter. It was so obvious now that this had been just more practice for his acting career.

I swiped through more videos and stumbled across them embracing outside the museum. He was shielding her from the storm by holding her close to his chest. She looked to be mid-laugh. It made my heart ache to see that she could hug him so easily...

There was no second-guessing...

There was no panic attack...

It was no wonder he'd chosen her. Why the fuck would he want to put up with me when there were people who could give him love so freely?

I tossed my phone to the bed and crumbled into myself just as the first wave of sobs erupted. It felt like every time I hoped for something...it just disappeared.

Just like the cocoa-covered dress, Yunho wasn't something I could have.

I cried as the minutes ticked by. I had nowhere else to go...nobody else to trust...and nothing else to do.

This was the best place I could be, and yet the ache in my heart hurt worse than any punch.

I didn't have it in me to check my phone again when I knew the show would be over. I didn't want to see him guiding her to some unmarked vehicle to head to a date together.

I didn't even bother to ask if he was coming here or staying there...

It didn't really matter what his answer was. Here or there...he wasn't mine.

I felt drained and hopeless and devoid of all of the feelings that had been so exciting earlier...now they just made it worse. If I'd never felt a tinge of love, I wouldn't have known what I was missing.

My phone buzzed. I had decided I wouldn't answer him...but it just kept going off. Part of me was worried he'd gotten into an accident. Maybe he was trying to explain himself.

With a sigh, I reached for it, surprised to see social media messages rather than a text. I didn't really use my Instagram since I never had anything to post and no pictures where I wasn't bruised. Few people knew about it at all...

so ur not even his girlfriend?

just a whore lol

good goin char.

It broke something in me to see those words laid out so plainly.

I told you I was just his assistant

Bo seemed to have created this whole idea about what was going on before I even had the chance to explain.

is that code for side chick?

Tears stung my eyes when I read that...

Was it true? Yunho was sleeping in beds with me and kissing me goodbye, all while having a secret girlfriend. I wondered if she knew about me. Maybe she was at every show and that's why he never wanted me to go...always found an excuse to keep me at the hotel.

i didn't know ab her, I told him.

wya? he replied. i can come get you

I didn't know what to do. I wondered if it was better to hear Yunho out or to leave with Bo...

Neither seemed like a great option...But I needed options...

buffalo.