Soukoku in hogwarts

Credit card numbers

-----------------------

Ghost readers are no fun :( pls comment if u find my jokes funny

----------------------

A few forged signature later Chuuya and Dazai were marching up to hogsmede, the gryffindor trio in tow. 

"Y'know" Hermione says as they approach a corner. Ron was using his sweater as a basket to haul the millions of treats he decided to blow all his money on, harry occasionally stealing one from time to time. "The Yule Ball is coming up soon" Ron froze. to him that just sounded like a synonym for disaster.

"Me mum picked out a dressrobe for me already. It sucks" he said. Hoping one of the four other members would offer to buy him a new one (excluding harry since he was forbidden). 

Everyone, including Hermione ignored him and she instead turned to Chuuya and Dazai "Have you bought anything for the ball yet?" the two nodded because they are liars.

No, they did not spend a full day of browsing for something they would only wear once in their life. Growthspurts exist and Chuuya liked to think his was coming next Tuesday every tuesday. Dazai still doesnt know what size pant he is.

Also they were too bothered by their plans to spike the drinks to care what theyd be wearing as they watched Dumbledore hopefully play twister in a fur suit.

Hermione sighed, disappointed and her shoulders deflated slightly. "alright then" she said, and they all continued treading along the sidewalk. 

-------------------------------------------------

Eventually the two groups separated and Chuuya and Dazai found themselves looking through magazines in a run down corner store far away from civilization. Chuuya leaned against the shelf, admiring the pin they had previously bought that decorated his hat as he waited for Dazai to find whatever bullshit magazine he was looking for.

"Found it!" Dazai said holding up a cover written by Robert Mcgonogall, titled: How To Sex- Vol 1.

Chuuya looked over to the magazine. Blinked. Read it over again. "The cashier is gonna give you the nastiest look youve seen in years".

Dazai chuckled in a bubbly but also very suspicious way: "Thats why Im not gonna pay for it"

Chuuya shrugged at this. He didnt expect anything less from Dazai.

When the door to the corner door snapped shut Dazai looked at Chuuya with glimmering eyes. "Now for the real magic. Operation: Buying junkfood for half off since we cant fit it all in our pockets without looking highly suspicious" 

------------------------------------------------

From a distance, probably in a bush somewhere

(A story on how Snape became rich in under 10 minutes) 

(A guide)

Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape are watching. For science. (And betting.)

Dazai kicked down the front door like it owed him money. Racks of money shook voilently. The shop owner flinched.

Chuuya looked him up and down "Can you be less,,, obnoxious?"

"Chuuya!" Dazai declared "We are here to violate the candy economy!"

Chuuya tilted his head. "You're such a dumbass."

But he was already grabbing a licorice wand. "I'm buying five pounds of this."

_______________________

Dumbledore was wearing glittery earmuffs and sipping a pink Butterbeer through a crazy straw. He nudged McGonagall. "Told you they'd hold hands first. That's five Galleons to me, darling."

McGonagall stared through her binoculars. "They always hold hands. That's like betting on Potter being late to class."

Snape scowled. "I wager ten Galleons that within ten minutes, Dazai will start undressing in public."

Dumbledore gasped. "Severus, you perv—"

"I meant his coat. Because he's never appropriately dressed for the weather."

"Oh. Carry on."

-------------------------------------

Dazai had, in fact, removed his coat.

Minerva silently passed Snape a tenner

"See, Chuuya," he said, now in a stupidly tight turtleneck, "The shirt from eigth grade still fits perfectly, just like yours."

"Are you calling me short?!"

".... Now why would i ever do that?"

"Im gonna glue you balls to a wall."

Dazai chocked out a giggle "Didnt know you were that sexed up for me hehA."

---------------------------------------

Snape was handed another tenner. He looked down at his list and checked off: "Dirty jokes" and "Dazai takes his coat off" smugly as he spun his quill between two gloved fingers.

"Next on my list is they break something" Snape said. Minerva looked to the side "My wallet already hates you greatly"

Dumbledore shimmied his shoulders "Im feeling devious, so I'll take the bet, 20 gallions. Deal?"

Snape nodded and just moments after a loud, ass-jiggling crash was heard.

Dumbledore started sweating nervously "Well theres no actual proof it was them-" "Dazai you hot fuck! Those are 12 whole gallions each!" They heard chuuya panic from the inside.

"Fiddlesticks!" Dumbledore said loudly. the 20 was passed over quickly to Snape.

"We're not paying for those sorry!" Chuuya shouted to the woman at the counter and he piled a stack of coins on the shelf closest the the front door "Heres the money for what we bought! Cheers!"

"Wha- Hey!" The woman tried to object but the front door already slammed shut. 

---------------------------------

Dazai and chuuya; each struggling to hold what the bought (They did not bring bags these dumb fucks) giggled maniacally as they stumbled through the deserted roads, the magazine Dazai had previously bought slipped from his pocket.

"No! Not my cover written by Robert Mcgonogall, titled: How To Sex- Vol 1.!

There was a pause

"Imagine in really is written by one of professor Mcgonogalls relatives"

Dumbledore and Snape both turned to face the witch who started sweating nervously

Dazai barked a laugh.

The two treaded along the pathway, ocasionally brushing shoulders as they ranted about random subjects with sleepy eyes and smile lines caressing their cheeks.

"Thank you for the pin by the way" Chuuya said "Dont thank me I stole it from the shop" 

"tell me why i assumed you didnt,, it cost basically all your money."  

 Dazai laughed again and out from his pocket the drew a receipt that he then threw behind him. The wind carried if to where Snape was sat. he opened it out of curiosity.

The fool bought it. 40 gallions, cold cash. Snape couldnt help but smile. From the corner of her eye, Mcgonogall read the receipt too. "What a sweetheart"

"Remind me to pay the woman who works at the candy store for the commotion they caused"

----------------------------

Ah yes, gayness. My specialty. Very sorry I couldnt get this out sooner for pride month, I had a school trip. so i was inactive for a week :(

My keyboard isnt working so I cant make the authors notes bold. Its triggering something and now I must puch someone.

Gimmie inspo for future chapters! 

-Sophie

----------------------------