Soukoku in hogwarts

WIP

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Im so sorry this chapter is short next one will be 1.5k words trust 

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Dazai and Chuuya marched down the streets of hogsmede to where Harry Ron and hermione were waiting for them. On the way there Dazai noticed a pigeon. A very familiar pigeon. The pigeon he snatched from the sky and gave his half assed letter to. He stopped to examine the bird who looked at him like he owed him money.

"Chuuya!" He called out to his partner who had marched ahead to retrieve a pine cone he was kicking along the road. He stopped and looked back "the pigeon probably hates you, leave it alone.!" He called out.

And that's how they ended up with a pet pigeon. Originally his name was supposed to be little shit 2.0 but they settled for Dickstick since naming someone little shit is rude.

Dazai recounted the story of the letter to Chuuya on the train ride home. He only half listened though because the conversation the group of ravenclaws ahead of them sounded much more interesting. Something about Goyel shitting his pants and pretending it was due to AIDS, no one believes him though because none would fuck a face that looked like a car ran over it when he was a baby, even if they were payed a fat 20$.

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(Diva beyonce playing while Dazai is a badass)

When the three plus Chuuya, Dickstick and Dazai met up at the dining hall for dinner, the tree stared at dazai a little bit longer than usual, noticing the derpy pigeon sitting crooked on his arm. Dazai noticed this and sighed 'I know Im hot guys, dont cream your pants, look away if you need to.'

Chuuya quickly side eyed him before explaining the fact that now they have a pigeon named dickstick. The three just nodded along sort of wind eyed but also not surprised anymore.

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From the teachers Tabel Dumbledore, Minerva and Snape sat drinking (apple juice) and gossiping.

'Anyways' Dumbledore continued, 'I dislike the chocolate frogs companynow since all they care about are other lame ass wizards and not *me* (the coolest one of course) and I know that technically the amount of photographs is the exact same but I haven't got a Dumbledore themed prize in one of them it three days!! You know how much that- OH MY GOD DAZAI AND CHUUYA WERE PREGNANT AND NOW THEY HAVE A CHILD!!!'

'Shhh calm down Albus my ears are going to combust' Snape drawled

'This is serious! They did the hoc-ha and Dazai probably birthed a pigeon named twinkletoes!!!'

'I think Chuuya birthed the pigeon' Severus said

Minerva rolled her eyes. 'Leave twinkletoes alone, the poor bird is gonna end up with ptsd and maybe blue hair, hell be a 40 thug still mourning his childhood as he writes rap lyrics'

'Any child in Dazais care would end up like that' Snape said. 'That's why i never plan on letting him close to my future kids' he said, matter of factly.

'You're never getting laid dont be ridiculous'

Minerva snorted. Snape glared at Dumbledore who was smiling cheekily.

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This chapters short asf because the next one will be about the Yule ball ;) im very excited for thatttttt. ( and totally not because i wanna write about Dumbledore smacked who told you that you little shit-)

On a completely unrelated note I feel like the entirety of wattpadians only listens to soft rock (beach bunny, mitski etc) or K-pop; am i wrong? Idk or care i just thought it was funny because i dont know ppl other than those on wattpad who listen to that type of music.

Pls DM me on Discord, user is cripx. (W the dot) tell me your from wattpad and Ill respond immediately,if i dont respond in 4 days try with a capital C

-Sophie