Close As Strangers // Calum Hood

Chapter 21 - Leah's visit

Ivy's Point of View

"How are you feeling?" It was such an ordinary question and Allison asked it so seriously that I had the urge to laugh out loud.

"Right know?" I bit my lip and thought for a moment. "I've only been here one day but since what happened saturday night, I feel safe here."

"What happened saturday night?" Allison asked, her brows almost knitted together.

I took a deep breath before saying anything. "I got raped by two guys."

Allison widened her eyes for a brief second before she regained composure again. "I'm so sorry. Have you talked to the police?"

I shook my head. "No, what's the point. I have no idea who they are and they are probably long gone by now."

Allison nodded slightly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

This felt too weird. "Not really." The raping had been awful but I really wanted and tried to put it behind me.

"Okay, then let's move on." She wrote something down in her notebook before continuing. "How did you first come in contact with drugs Ivy?"

I told Allison everything that had happened the last five months. From Calum leaving on tour, my art exhibition which was the reason we lost contact with each other, my birthday when I met Theo, the night we first had sex, my mood swings and depressed feelings I had felt during the last couple of months, when Theo introduced me to cocaine and up to three days ago when I got raped. Allison wrote diligently in her notebook while I talked.

When my session was over I asked Allison if one of my friends could come over so I could ask her to bring over some of my own stuff.

Allison answered with, "We can call and ask your friend to come and leave things for you but if you want to meet your friend here, visiting hours is on friday afternoons and sundays."

"Okay. Then can you call her and ask if she can come here on friday afternoon? Say that I really want her to come." I said.

"Of course. What's her name." Allison asked.

"Leah Knowles."

----------------------------------------
-3 days later-

I sat in the big gathering hall or family room or whatever you want to call it, waiting for visiting hours to start. When the clock hit 2 pm, I could feel my armpits start to sweat, my heart beat harder and my pulse to rise. Allison told me that when she had asked Leah to come, Leah had said yes but she could have changed her mind. Wonder if she was still mad at me.

I scanned the entrance to see if Leah was coming. It took a few minutes but then I could see her with her dark hair walking into the building. I sucked in a breath. She's really here. I saw Leah walk up to the reception desk and fill in some paper. Then the girl behind the reception desk pointed towards were I was sitting and I saw Leah's eyes land on me. I smiled hesitantly and the corners of Leah's mouth slowly pulled up into a smile before she started running towards me.

I could feel my smile getting wider just before it suddenly disappeared and I held up both my hands in front of me. "Wait! Wait!" I said in a slightly raised voice. I didn't know if I was ready for body contact yet, not when she was running towards me so quickly.

Leah stopped just a few meters in front of me and her smile had been replaced by a confused face expression. "What is it?" She asked slowly.

I made a little hand gesture that said, sit down and Leah slowly sat down on the chair beside me. I started telling her about everything that had happened saturday evening, six days ago. When I was done talking, I felt light tears roll down my cheeks and Leah's eyes were also wet. She slowly put a hand on my own and stroked it carefully.

"I've missed you so much." She said, almost not audible.

I swallowed the little lumb in my throat and smiled at her. "I've missed you too. I'm so sorry for everything I said to you, I know you only wanted to keep me safe."

She nodded and hugged me tight. "It's okay, it's in the past."

I hugged her back and forgot about everything that had happened six days ago. Leah had forgiven me and that was everything that mattered right now. We both cried when we clung to each other.

Three hours later, Leah had to go but we decided that she would come back on sunday.

------------------------------------------
-2 days later-

Visiting hours on sundays was between 10 am and 4 pm. Leah came around 1 pm. When she had come to visit me last friday I had been a bit nervous and mostly happy but today, after my unplanned session with Allison yesterday, I felt empty. I still had a hard time believing what she had told me.

Leah immediately noticed that something was wrong with me and asked what it was right after she had given me a suitcase stuffed with things from my room at home that I had asked her to give me.

"Y-yesterday my psychologist diagnosed me with a depression." I couldn't believe I actually had to say that. "I have a real appointment with a doctor on tuesday but she's pretty sure about this."

"Ohh Ivy..." Leah's voice trailed away.

"I've felt sad sometimes, especially when my dad died but I never thought that I would actually be depressed. My psychologist, Allison, said that I would be fine as soon as I could get a medication but still, it feels..." I didn't know how to finish the sentence. How did I feel? I barely knew.

I swallowed and started on a new sentence instead. "Allison says that my depression could actually be the reason why I stopped talking to Calum and why I felt the need to start hanging out so much with Theo, why I was drawn to his drugs.

"Oh my god. All this time and..." Her voice trailed away again. "Do you want me to talk to Calum or say that he can come and visit you or something?" She asked instead.

I didn't need to hesitate before answering. "No. I think that the time here will be good for me. I'll get a chance to be alone and think through my feelings for Calum. And decide what I should do about our relationship when I get out of here."

Leah nodded. "That's a good idea. Do you know when you'll be released?"

"If everything goes smoothly, I'll be out in three weeks."

Leah stood up and I followed her lead. "Then I hope I'll see you then."

I wrapped my arms around her and we hugged. "Of course you will."

We said goodbye and Leah left the rehab facility. I wouldn't see her in three weeks. I had said that I wanted to be alone and she had accepted that.

I took my suitcase and took the elevator up to my room. That evening, I continued with my drawing of Calum. I wanted to finish it, and when I got out of here I would give it to him, whether we would get back together or not.

------------------------------------------

Author's note:

These last three chapters, I've been dragging out more than I should have but I just had so much to write. But don't worry, Calum will come into the picture again soon ;)

And if you don't know who's in the picture above, it's Michelle Trachtenberg aka Leah :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, YOU ARE ALL AMAZING! Don't forget to vote or comment something nice if you like what I'm writing! xoxo