Close As Strangers // Calum Hood

Chapter 26 - What if

Ivy's Point of View

The tour had now stopped in London. It had been going on for one and a half month and in a few days we would be on our way to America. I was so excited, I had always wanted to go to the US. Los Angeles, Las Vegas, New York, Washington, it all sounded perfect. But so far I thought that nothing could beat Europe. I had been in Greece once when I was little but other than that, I hadn't thought so much about Europe. It had never seemed fascinating to me but I had been so wrong. Europe was so beautiful and I loved all the big cities.

The boys had just gone on stage for their first show in London, and I knew exactly what I was going to do when Calum wouldn't notice me being gone.

I found my way out of the arena, wondering how it felt for Calum, Michael, Ashton and Luke to be so familiar with all these arenas we had been to just because of their tour last year.

I took the underground into the heart of London while the sky was darkening. I walked from the underground station and followed the directions on my phone to the London Bridge Hospital. This was maybe not my most thoughtful decision but I had to do this for myself and mostly Calum. I felt tears in my eyes when I entered the hospital. But I wouldn't change my mind. I wasn't ready and if I didn't do this, it could destroy Calum's career.

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-3 days earlier-

I sat outside the arena in Birmingham, seeing the sun rise over the buildings around me. I hadn't been able to sleep very well the last few days because of the news I had to tell Calum. I had tried to gather up some courage but I hadn't been able to tell him yet. But I needed to do it soon. I owed him that.

"What are you doing out here?" I heard Calum say behind me. I turned my head around and saw him approach me and then sit down next to me.

"Couldn't sleep." I said and wrapped my cardigan tighter around me.

"Are you enjoying the tour so far?" Calum asked.

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah, it's awesome! Especially to see you performe every night and to see so many cool places outside of Australia."

I took a deep breath. "But I have to tell you something."

In the corner of my eye, I saw Calum turn his head towards me. "What is it?"

I took another deep breath. I couldn't do this. I ran my hands through my long hair and felt the tears start to fall down my cheeks. Before I could stop myself, a sob escaped my mouth. "Oh god, I've ruined your life Calum. I'm so sorry."

Calum put his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I started sobbing into his shoulder.

"What are you talking about Ivy?"

I drew in a shaky breath. "I-I'm pregnant. It-it's your child Cal."

I felt Calum's body stiffen and I slowly pulled away from him. He just stared straight ahead.

"Cal..." I said hesitantly.

Calum shook his head slightly and looked at me. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

He nodded slowly. "Okay. Ehh, we.. We will get through this. Together." Calum pulled me back towards him and started rubbing my back but I could feel that this wasn't okay. This was never what he had wanted, not this young.

We haven't talked about my pregnancy since then.

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The morning after I had been to the hospital, I felt different. Lighter in some way. Or empty. But I told myself that this was for the best.