We all use bones everyday

Reliving the horrors

My brother used to tell me war stories of his time when served for the country and our past letters would be the I miss you come home safe I love you and the many care packages. But it never gets any easier to walk through that cemetery and I know that. Which is why all of us were there for this case. I keep Jason updated on what goes on he asked me if I wanted him to come down I said no he didn't need to do that how it wasn't about me. He noted I was going on the case as part for "work" and part in support to my brother and he admitted no it wasn't a you're supporting him so I'm supporting you supporting him thing he genuinely wanted to be there for Seeley. I know he'd say he's ok and how he doesn't need all this support with him on this case but that's just how he is that's how me and my brothers were raised. But when you relive your horrors it's nice to have someone there with you because you shouldn't have to go through anything traumatic on your own.

I know there are many people that would rather and yes your loved ones often respect those wishes and support you from a far. But if he really didn't want us there we'd back off. But instead he had this small sad smile on his face trying not to roll his eyes ruffled my hair and said thank you. When he wants me to stay out of something he says I'm really ok but thank you. And kisses the top of my head with a bone crushing hug that lingers just a little too long. And he grins this time when I happened to tell him Jason wanted to be here in support for him as well. When I told him this he thought that was nice of him but that he felt or rather understood that it was really in support of him supporting me while I support my brother. And I told him no he does really want to be here for you genuinely. How he knew my brother means a lot to me and therefore he meant a lot to Jason as well.

And Seeley likes when Jason comes down one of the many that verbally say so while I blush and go non verbal and claim there's nothing going on between us. While Layla doesn't help matters by calling Jason "daddy Spike" and it's of no help when I have Angela in my ear also calling Jason "daddy" but not for the same reason Layla is. If it really bothered me she'd stop but really it just makes me flustered but when Layla does it while I still blush my inner voice says maybe someday and while I don't want to label whatever is happening between us not until I officially want to really date him and I know that he doesn't want anyone else and how he'd wait for me forever and a day I still don't want anything romantic right now and while I say he can have anyone my heart drops to my stomach and I can feel it break I don't want anyone other than Jason. And he adores being called Spike and it doesn't bother him when Angela teases him like that. Jason has always been real humble to the idea he's pretty. He reads the magazines and knows what people call him that he's the hottest single billionaire bachelor.

When he gives quotes and interviews he always says being single and a bachelor is never by choice. That he has many women in his life that he loves dearly many of which are the women in Seasonal Sisters plus their little mascot aka the lead singer's daughter and of course his own mother. That he's not ashamed to call himself a mama's boy and how lovely of a person she is. How his heart belongs to all of them in different ways. But that the one he wants most he understands that I don't want anything romantic right now and quotes me that I tell him he can have whoever he wants and that he keeps telling me he doesn't want anyone else that he only wants me and wishes he could give me the world and often does give me whatever I ask no questions asked. Though he notes he does the same with the other women in our band plus the little girl. But while that's a plus on his part that's not why my brother likes when he comes to town. Sure he likes the things Jason says and how he takes care of everyone in his life with all the love in the world with those he holds close he knows that Jason isn't like my ex and doesn't just try and say he wants me just to get in my pants.

Jason has never been closed off on his sexuality he's always been open with telling people thanks but no thanks he's asexual. No he doesn't wanna see people naked or in their bras and underwear and won't jump in the shower with you won't do one night stands is very pro your body your choice. He's very big on saying how he's not one of those straight white males that thinks he can do whatever he wants when he wants with whoever he wants and how much he hates when people do that male or female. Seeley likes that when he comes down whatever is happening he doesn't push he says ok we'll do things your way and he knows that Jason likes to be supportive not just for me but to my family and friends. He gets along with Lauren and everyone loves him especially seeing him with my daughter and he knows because of Layla he's in this for the long game I already have a child and he knows my story and doesn't take off running the other way. And when Seeley teases me and says he knows this isn't about you and supporting you right? Yes they both know that. And how genuine Jason is and not just trying to make nice because I want him to he doesn't become a different person when I'm gone.