cake oneshots || book one

I Live In A Hologram With You

What even is this band like damn

+++++

Luke remembers a lot of things.
The whole year that him and Calum had been together was implanted into his brain, every shared moment and gentle touch, every soft kiss and every part of Luke's skin that he marked, every red scratch down Calum's back that he'd admire in the morning after they made love the previous night.

Everything. He remembered everything.

Whether Calum remembered these things or not, was beyond Luke, but it didn't seem like anything they'd had mattered to the older boy anymore.
Luke had been hit on before, after he and Calum split, by really attractive people.

But they weren't Calum, they weren't what Luke wanted or needed, weren't what he wishes still slept next to him on the tour bus or in his bed back in Sydney during time off.

Being in a band with his ex boyfriend was hard. He spoke to Ashton about it mostly, sometimes Michael. He wanted to quit. Wanted to give up singing for the rest of his life, because even though he'd been singing before a certain Kiwi boy had come into his life, he felt as if there was nothing left to sing for.
Even after their breakup, Luke was still Calum's.

The only problem with that is that Calum wasn't his anymore.

---

Luke hates a lot of things.

He hates that he can't get over a boy that probably never thinks about him anymore.

He hates that he can't be happy for said boy who moved onto to the next person.

He hates that stupid fücking girl that Calum dates now.

He hates that she ruined everything for him.

---

"Seriously, Calum?" Luke screams, "You could've at least warned me that I would catch you making out with some slüt on the tour bus."

He was being sarcastic, obviously, because he would've preferred to come back from Starbucks to Calum, minus the girl on the tour bus.

"Avery isn't a slüt, she's just a friend, okay?" Calum shrugs, shrugs so cooly, as if it didn't occur to him that he really fücking hurt Luke's feelings. Or that Luke was his boyfriend.

"We're fücking dating, Calum!" Luke throws his hands up in frustration.

"You can't just-"

"Can't just what? You think just because you don't like girls, automatically means I don't either? I'm not completely gay, Luke. "

But that was all bullshït. Calum was bi, yes. But that wasn't an excuse, that wasn't a fücking excuse.

"Maybe we shouldn't date then!" Luke yells after a while, and Calum looks taken aback.

"What the hell do you mean, 'we shouldn't date'? You're being ridiculous."

"Fück you! I'm done, okay? Done!"
And Calum turns away from him, balling and unballing up his fists (something Calum did when he was angry, oh look, another thing Luke remembers).

"Fine." Is all he says after a while, his back still to Luke. "Fine, we're done then."

And then when he finally turned around, he didn't even look at Luke, he just left.

---

Luke slides his back down the door of his hotel room, the whole entire fight coming back to him. He was crying, sobbing, Calum's voice ringing in his ears.