cake oneshots || book one

I Might Never Be The Hand You Put Your Heart In

Credit: assholemichael

Please read the a/n at the end I really need advice

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When Luke and Calum started dating, Luke didn't even dare to dream this would work out. Luke knew that even if people didn't directly say anything to him they weren't fine with him being gay and he understood that and once Calum approached he couldn't help but hesitate when he asked him out. And now it's been five months. Five months since they started dating and about a week since Luke realized he loved Calum.

"Luke? Seriously, I'm going to start calling you 'deaf noodle' instead of the usual 'baby' or 'blonde and sexy breadstick'," says Calum and Luke wants to laugh at that and then tell him he doesn't want to be called noodle nor breadstick, but the words I love Calum are stuck in his head and as much as he would like to say them out loud, he can't. He's looking at Calum and he sees him frown and he imminently regrets not being able to say anything due to being too in love. Calum sighs.

"Did I do something wrong? You've been acting really weird lately."

Luke's face gets red and he has to look away. He shakes his head, but it's not like Calum believes him. He knows something's up and he also knows Luke isn't just willingly going to tell him.

"Do you want to break up?"

Luke's eyes are wide open and he can barely make himself look back at Calum, because of the question. "No, what are you – do you want to?" Luke hopes for a no, because his heart is beating fast and there's a sudden extra weight on his chest and what the fück is he supposed to do if it actually happens? What if they break up right after he fell in love, because then, honestly, he's fücked.

"Me neither. So, what's going on?"

Luke thinks about the question, but all he can do right now is deny everything. "Nothing, really." He puts his arms around Calum's body, because he feels bad and his plan wasn't to make Calum question their relationship.

Even though Calum isn't happy about this, he doesn't say anything except mumbling 'I'm sorry' into Luke's ear as he clings to Calum and Luke's kind of happy, if we ignore the fact he knows he should tell Calum he loves him and is probably going to end up telling him soon, because what he feels is too overwhelming for him to take alone.

"I have to tell you something later," Luke whispers and Calum nods. He isn't sure how he's going to do it.

***

Luke doesn't expect himself to repeat the words 'I love you, Calum' after sex two nights later over and over again and he doesn't even bring himself to care about what kind of reaction Calum will have. "I love you."

But that's when reality hits him and he gets embarrassed. He's blushing and he wants to go and hide, but Calum stops him. Calum is smiling and Luke isn't sure if that's a good or bad thing.

"I love you too," Calum laughs and Luke feels some sort of relief, because Calum just said he loves him and Calum said that.

After that, Luke can't just simply fall asleep – he's happy, because things finally seem to turn out well for him.

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Guys I'm stuck.

I don't know if I want to stay home after I graduate or go away

Like I love my family, and it would be smart to stay home and get my basics done first my parents argue a lot now and I think once all the kids leave they'll divorce and I don't want my parents to be alone and all but....

I really want to leave. I want to go away and experience college to the fullest and just be on my own and be independent and I just don't know what to do. I also have a great opportunity that a family member gave me and my siblings to go anywhere I want within reason.

I just...I'm half and half and I don't know what I want to do. Does anyone have any advice? I'm a junior this year btw so it's kinda important to figure it out this year and that's why I'm really stressing about this.

So if anyone has any ideas or advice that'd be great