Kinabukasan ay nagkulong lamang ako sa silid buong maghapon. Hindi rin ako lumabas para mag-almusal at magtanghalian.
Kinakatok nila ang pintuan ng aking kwarto ngunit pinipili kong hindi sila pagbuksan. I want to be alone and clear my head. Gusto ko na matapos ang larong ito na ako din ang nag-umpisa.
Hapon na nang lumabas ako ng aking kwarto. Tahimik ang paligid. Siguro ay wala si Ninang Isabelle ngayon.
Nagpunta akong garden para magpahangin. I saw him there. Nakaupo at nagbabasa ng libro sa may damuhan. Agad ko syang nilapitan.
"Hey. Ano binabasa mo?" I asked Sorr. Tiningala nya ako.
I saw a pair of brown breathtaking beautiful eyes. He smiled at me dearly. Pakiramdam ko ay tuwang-tuwa syang makita ako.
"The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan. Magaling syang author. Basahin mo mga libro nya." he answered me. Hindi nawala ang ngiti nya. Tinapik nya ang pwesto sa tabi nya para ayain akong umupo.
Umupo ako sa tabi nya sumilip sa librong hawak nya. "I should borrow the book. Of course kapag natapos mo na basahin." sinulyapan ko sya at naabutan kong nakatitig sya sa aking mukha. I smiled at him.
"Ilang beses ko na itong nabasa. You can borrow it now." isinarado nya ang libro at iniabot sa akin. Tinanggap ko naman ito at binuksan ang mga pahina at binasa ang nilalaman.
"Abstraction, noun. Love is one kind of abstraction. And then there are those nights I sleep alone, when I curl into a pillow that isn't you, when I hear the tiptoe sounds the aren't yours. It's not as if I can conjure you there completely. I must embrace the idea of you instead."
He looked at me like he can see my soul. Those eyes, his lips, even his heavy breathing. The sharp pain in my chest started.
I kiss him. My eyes shut close. He kissed me back. His hands grabbing my waist. I can't contain what I'm feeling right now. I nearly break myself.
Suddenly, he stopped. He looked at me. I saw his wild eyes for the first time and the regrets beyond with it.
"Why?" I almost choked the word. Nasasaktan ako at hindi ko alam kung bakit.
"This is all wrong, Katherine. I have someone who's-" I cut him off.
"Yeah. Someone who's not with you. You kissed me back, Sorr. You did. So tell me. Ano bang pumipigil sayo?" my voice cracked. Halos hindi ko makilala ang sarili kong boses.
"I don't know. Naguguluhan ako sa mga nangyayari ngayon." he honestly answered me. Lumanghap ako ng maraming hangin saka sya nilingon.
"Tell me. Sabihin mo sa akin na tama ako ngayon. Gusto mo ako. Kahit katiting Sorr. Kase kung hindi, dapat tinanggihan mo ako. Just like what you did before." I said.
"Yes. I like you. But I want us to make it-" I cut him again. Naririnig ko sa boses nya ang frustration.
"You're a hypocrite. Fuck your beliefs! You said before that you're just waiting for the right person to come into your life. Now here we are. I am knocking on your door, love is knocking but you wouldn't let me in. You're such a pathetic hypocrite!" I said in despise. I stood up and left him there. He called my name 3 times but I didn't looked back.
