Bad Poetry You probably never want to read

Strange road signs

I was driving in the countryside when I saw a sign that said 'Beware of sheep.' I thought, 'why? What are they going to do?' It is not like they have formed gangs and are going to try and rob me.

I was driving just outside the city when I saw a sign that said 'Slow horses crossing.' I can understand that the horses might get excited and try to cross the road too fast, but I'm not sure I'm the right person to slow them down.

I was driving past a school when I saw a sign that said 'Slow children.' Now come on, that is a little harsh. They might not be the cleverest but it is offensive to say they are slow, isn't that why they are in school anyway? To learn!

I was driving near a stately home when I saw a sign that said 'Deer please drive slowly.' I didn't think deer could drive, then again, if they have just started then maybe it is a good idea to get them to drive at slower speeds.

I was driving near a farm when I saw a sign that said 'Caution cows.' I'm not sure what the danger to cows is, as they are all fenced in, so I doubt any traffic could get in. I suppose for too long cows have been carefree and not shown any caution.

I was walking down a country lane when I saw a sign that said 'Cows with calves in field.' What a silly sign, if the cows did not have calves they would not be able to stand up and walk around.

I was driving down the motorway when I saw a sign that said 'No hard shoulder for 2 miles.' Well, I felt around my neck and it appeared both of my shoulders are hard, so I guessed I wasn't allowed, so turned off at the next junction.