Bad Poetry You probably never want to read

How to make it big on social media

Step 1: Choose something from popular culture but make sure it is a beloved classic that has recently been rebooted or remade.

Step 2: Post content explaining how the newer version is a pale comparison to the older one. Make sure to explain to your followers that the update is trash and destroys your childhood.

Step 3: Continue posting negative content about the reboot/remake. You should aim to do this at least once a week. If possible try positing once per day or once per hour.

Step 4: To help with your posting schedule, repost that same content again and again.

Step 5: Reply to all comments that oppose your view by telling these people they are 'stupid,' 'dumb,' or that they 'never understood the original anyway.' Never admit you are wrong, even if people opposing you are making logical arguments.

Step 6: Scour social media for anyone who likes the thing you claim to hate. Comment under each post that the person is a 'loser,' a 'baby,' or an 'idiot.'

Step 7: If someone is making valid arguments that do not support your views, block them.

Step 8: If the item you have chosen to be negative about is no longer relevant, ignore this fact and continue posting about it.

Step 9: If all this fails, just post videos of you doing poorly choreographed dance moves to popular songs.

Warning: You must never try to do anything creative on social media like play music, write poetry or show off beautifully crafted art work. This will not gain many views.