Indecisive, Ashton Irwin/Luke Hemmings Love Story

Chapter 41- Jealous of The Rain

Ashton's POV:

As I strolled into the studio I instantly sighed. I hadn't slept at all after Danielle had ran out of the room in tears. Yes. I was an asshole, I know that , but the hurt and emptiness I felt in my heart over losing her ..and more so hurting her was unimaginable. We had yet another recording session today and as I looked on at the rest of my band and some of our crew , I couldn't help but feel even more guilty. Everyone loved Danielle, they all praised me over the fact that I had landed a girl like her and I obviously loved it. I loved the fact that my band and our crew loved my girlfriend, I fucking loved the fact that most of our fans loved her, fucking hell even my mother adored her when they briefly met. Not to mention that my brother and sister thought that she was absolutely amazing. How the fuck was I going to explain to everyone that we had broken up? That I had broken the heart of one of the kindest and most beautiful girls I've ever dated?

How the fuck did I manage to fuck this up so badly? I thought bitterly as I ran a hand through my messy hair.

The fact of the matter is that she was right. She was right when she said that I didn't deserve her because I truly neglected her, trying to use her for my own gain when it was most convenient. Cheating on her was what obviously did it for her. I knew she didn't expect to hear that I've been cheating on her for so long but, the point is that I was. Obviously it wasn't constantly but, December was when it had started. I honestly had no idea what I was thinking. Obviously I probably wasn't fucking thinking but, I can factually say that I regretted every single moment of it. If I had tried ..If only I had tried like she did then maybe we would've been the happiest fucking couple alive.

Fuck. I knew we would have been just that. Last summer ..when I actually fucking tried was a time when I was at my happiest , relationship wise at least. I had given her so much attention and she had done the same in return, giving into me so easily at the time. Considering that little fact, I couldn't help but think that I was the one who had pushed her away. My sudden thoughts brought my attention to Luke, my eyes wandering to see his eyebrows knitted as he stared intently down at the sheet of paper in his hands. His guitar was around him and a smile lit up his face as he got up before heading into the recording room.

'She deserves a guy like him' My own thoughts were attacking me and I couldn't help but agree with them. Luke was like a little brother to me, he always had been. I knew he was madly in love with her, I knew he never felt that way too often and even when I saw him swallow a lump while telling me it was okay on my first date with her, I knew it wasn't. I was so invested in what I felt for her at the time that I didn't even stop to think that I should've given him a chance. I literally stole the girl he was falling for away from him despite knowing his strong feelings for her.

What kind of person am I?

"Dude you okay?" Looking up I saw that it was Calum who had asked the question before he proceeded to take a seat next to me. Placing a hand on my shoulder he gave me a look of utter concern and worry. "Have you even slept?" He questions, a frown settling onto his features while squeezing my shoulder in a comforting manner. Shaking my head I sighed before burying my head into my hands. I could almost feel the concern roll off of Calum's body as he continued to rub my back as a form of comfort. Even though I appreciated his concern for me, I still couldn't help but feel guilty for enjoying it. While Calum and Dani weren't the 'I'll spend 24/7 with you and have sleepovers' kind of friend he still absolutely adored her. Therefore,  when he finds out that I broke her heart into a tiny million pieces I don't really think he's going to be as accommodating toward me.

"You prick!" My head immediately shot up upon hearing the loud sound coming from a voice I knew only belonging to Michael Clifford. Moving toward me he instantly shoved me before Calum pushed him away. At this point I didn't even bother trying to defend myself, my body too spent on exhaustion to even care at this point.