Epsilon (A Percy Jackson/Chaos fanfic)

Entry 1

Entry 1

I think I was stupid...gods, I'm still stupid. I should have realized something was wrong when I walked into camp, but I didn't. If I had admitted that something like that might have happened, maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so...attached.

I was the Savior, I should've realized that something like this would've happened. Every single monster out there wants me dead, it's kind of expected that any of my half-siblings would hate me too. It's kind of sad, you know. Someone was jealous enough to ruin an entire relationship, a entire life, it still puzzles me, you know.

Millions of Chaos years away, and I still feel tethered to that pathetic planet I once called home. Sometimes I wished I was still there, but then I remember what I'm doing here and I am thankful.

Something still nags at me though, telling me that I should have looked closer. I hope my future isn't as dark as my past, because if it is...I don't know what I would do.

There's one person though that has been with me for a while. Her name is Neka, code name Evony. She's from a planet somewhere out in the Universe. She's smart, fast, agile and knows how to fight. She taught me the ropes of the Universal rules and that's why I'm still alive.

Right now I'm in my cabin on a CY ship (Chaos Year). We have a rendezvous on a planet with one of her cousins. She's says that he will be a great asset if we want to find the fountain of immortality. His name is Mhycol. She's says that he is a complete and utter geek and knows most of the high ranking and dangerous races out there.

I hope we don't die. Anyway, back to the topic of which I started. Clarisse was the only remaining person in the whole camp that still stood behind me. She warned me about the changes and seeing it, hurt so much more than what she said. I'm just glad that Nico, Grover, Juniper and Thalia weren't there, I don't know what I would do if my closest and oldest friends that didn't betray me were there.

"If's" keep running through my head. If I had thought ahead, this wouldn't have hurt as much. If I hadn't been gone so long, maybe this might not have happened. If I knew about Shawn, maybe I would've been prepared.

But I can't live in the past and keep thinking "If's". Neka says that she has looked back many times, after all, she did abandon her family so she could travel the Universe. She tells me that the only path is forward, or to the side. In front of me is a trident in the road (or a fork, whichever you prefer), and she says that I will ultimately go down one. Doesn't matter when or how, but she knows that I will.

She told me that she feels great power within me, that confused me. The Olympians said the same thing when they banished me from Earth. They told me that they could see bits my future and because of that, I was too dangerous to remain on Earth. They told me that if I were to ever return, they would kill me. They banished me onto the earliest ship and I was off. Only Neka looked my way when I admitted that I was a stowaway. She helped get me a U-pass and a cabin, right across from her's.

She told me that she doesn't trust anyone...anyone but me. I can still feel the happiness when she said that. She didn't trust anyone but me. A broken soul, a broken soldier. Abandoned, betrayed and lost. I keep asking myself, why me? Why did she trust me. A stranger, an acquaintance.

I guess your wondering what happened before this. Well, the entire camp betrayed me except Clarisse. They called me a traitor as they spat insults. They should look in a mirror and see their reflection. I want to see their pained eyes as they looked into the reflective glass. I want them to suffer, and it's scares me.

It's dinner now, Neka's coming to pick me up and show me all of the Universe delicacies. I don't know if I should be excited and/or cautious. I guess we'll have to see. I'll write to you later, Percy.