J | Guilt
Letting go and voicing out are still hard for me. Words still remained in my heart and mind, unsaid, for im too scared and afraid to throw them out so sudden. I worry about the feedback or reactions even.
I sighed for the nth time as i held my pencil.
"Julie, are you listening?" Ate Max asked. Oh God. Im in the middle of the meeting with her while my mind is wandering anywhere.
I pretend to smile and nod as she gave me a hesitant look.
"Dont worry, Ate. I was reading a fashion book last night. Inthink that can help me broaden their knowledge as a start-up student in the course," i thoughtfully mumbled and she nodded quietly.
"So as i was saying, Julie, point out the major things to do and highlight the important ones," and my mind started to get lost again as i hear Ate Max's voice as an echo but i survived our meeting without saying out loud the words that are running through my mind.
I went to my workroom to finish her friends' gowns which will be delivered or pick up, im so sure, in two days.
After that she asked me to go and have some lunch to her favorite restaurant. I knew she needed company so i didnt rant about it for the first time and drove away.
"Favorite restaurant din ito ni Moks," she giggled and slid us inside. Oh yeah. The delicious steak. Plus yummy deserts. Oooh, mouthwatering.
I really am not starving at the moment so i ordered a baked lasagna and tea and that's just it.
Ate Max was staring around and when i looked at her, she got stuck to a one direction composing a bad look. I followed her gaze and not too far away from us, there was Elmo. And a girl.
"I should probably call him," Ate Max fished out her phone in a rush from her bag and i interrupted.
"Ate, wag na po," I held her hand.
"Julie, no," she insisted but i smiled at her causing her to just calm back down. She sighed deeply and then surrendered, returned her phone back inside her bag.
We ate as she started telling me stories about how she first started as a designer. And it was funny how we both laughed over things that she did to pursue it.
"Walang tiwala si Mom sa akin. I kept stealing her long dresses and will turn it into a mini balloon dress. Grabeh!" she shared another one funny experience and we just couldnt stop giggling. Who wouldve thought that the Max Magalone who is known to be one of the best designer in our place would start off as a stealer of a dress from her mom and would do her thing about it. I laughed so hard that akmost makes us fall on the floor.
"And then from that moment, Mom realized that i really wanted to design and make pieces," and it ended there.
It was five or six in the afternoon when i decided to stop to a flowershop nearby.
"Hi," says the lady wearing a perfect smile.
"Hello," i smiled back and walked through the rows of flowers.
I want a bouquet of white and pink baby roses for my Bella. Plus a while and yellow tulips for Grandad and Daddy.
"Salamat po," the lady handed me over the flowers and paid.
"Hi, Lo and Dad," i greeted them with a warm welcoming smile as i placed the flowers i brought them on the grass beside the tile with their names on it.
I lit up a small scented candles for them and then went straight to the other side.
"Hi my Bella," i smiled and lit a candle and displayed her roses.
