Julie | Try
"Mahal ko, papasok ka na ba?" I heard abu descend the stairs as she talked. I ran to her and held her hand as i glide her towards the kitchen area.
"Good morning, Abu. Mamaya pa ako pupunta kila Klyde tapos meeting kay Ate Max sa shop mamayang hapon hanggang gabi," i told granny as i checked my orange wrist watch and saw that it was just 8:15 AM.
She nodded and smiled at me meaningfully. It's strange. Like i havent seen this kind of smile from hers before. I looked at her, puzzled.
"Wait. Why are you smiling at me like that?" i asked confusedly. You know what, im lucky to have a beautiful and very cool grandmother but i tell you... She's kind of weird. Well, sometimes. And that sometimes can be consider right now.
"He came here last night," she tickled my side.
"Abu, stop," i laughed hard as i felt my cheeks heated and probably so red right now.
"Alam mo apo, ang saya ko nung nakita ko kayo," she put her hands together on the table as she watched me mixed the ingredients for our pancakes.
I smiled at her and sighed, "Lola, ako din po. Ang sarap po sa pakiramdam na.... May isang taong magpapaalala sa iyo araw araw na mahal ka."
"Alam ko apo. Akala ko nga sarado na yang puso mo eh," she held my hand and i smiled as i think about what happened last night again and let the emotions washed through me.
"Abu, i almost forgot how to love. And right now, everything is so fresh. Like everything is so new. I wanna start falling in love again. I wanna feel and learn how to love again. With him," i said and my gran touched my cheeks.
"It's about time. Years have passed and it's time to open your heart and free it and let it love," she truly is one amazing creature on earth. I nodded with a beautiful arched on my mouth but when things from the past hits me again, it made me wanna just give everything up right now.
"Pero lola, may mga bagay po na galing nakaraan na hindi ko pa kayang sabihin sa kanya," I stopped mixing as i watch my gran's eyes as if summing everything to come up with an idea.
"Mahal ko, pag mahal ka niya, lahat ng sasabihin mo tatanggapin niya at matatanggap niya. Wag kang mag alala. Mahal ka ni Elmo, at alam ko yun. Nararamdaman ko yun," her hands was pointed directly to her heart.
"Sana nga po," I smiled but there are lots of things that are going through my mind right now. The what if's and hows and whats. I just dont know how to tell him. Fears are always with me going along with the scare and guilt.
I took a deep breathe but let it all out abruptly.
"Wag ka na munang mag isip, mahal ko. Tignan mo oh, nagkaka-wrinkles ka na," and there goes my gran with her segue lines. I chuckled and then focused myself on cooking hoping not to burn our breakfast.
We ate breakfast and talked about getting a housekeeper or at least gran's helper. I just realized that i couldnt take care of her 24/7 since i worked here and there and drive everywhere as well. It's hard to leave her everyday without any security that she will be fine for the next hours of the day.
I insisted to get back her old helper, Nanay Erin, to keep her company.
"Mahal ko, wag na. Nanjan ka naman na para sa akin eh," she murmured and her begging eyes were glued to mine but no, no can do.
"Abu, i cant look after you for 24/7. I want to keep you safe while i work. Im calling Nanay Erin to be here this coming sunday. If anything happens to you and im not around, i swear im not gonna forgive myself forever. So please, abu?" i explained to her and her stare softened which is i think good because i can see that she's starting to cool down and be calm.
