First Words

Chapter 17

Kellin's POV||

Sitting outside with Vic while the sun set was so romantic. I don't know if he noticed but it really was. We just sat together, staring out to the horizon. The orangy pink sky was beautiful and the sun half way under the hill tops was amazing. This was so peaceful and perfect that I would do it over and over again. Day after day. When the sun completely disappeared behind the hills, the stars began to flicker into the night's sky like thousands upon thousands of eyes watching. The clouds are transparent and the moon almost full but not quite there. Once it began to get chilly out, me and Vic decided it was best to go inside where it was warm so I wouldn't catch a cold. "Thank you for a really perfect night." I spoke the first words as we walked back towards the house. "No problem."

Once we got inside, the warmth gently swept across my face whilst the smell of taco's brushed past my nose. The smells of the tacos lifted throughout the house creating a sweet mouthwatering smell. It was absolutely astonishing at how a perfect day ends with a perfect meal. And I guess I live that more than anything really because I never really got a perfect moment in my life. I guess this is just a dream but I'm just gonna stay in it a little while longer because it's absolutely perfect and everything, AND MORE, that I've ever wanted. Just a little ray of happiness into this darkened nightmare.

"Kellin?" Jaime's voice faltered my thoughts as he spoke. I snapped my gaze towards him, showing that I was giving him my attention. "I said maybe tomorrow we can take you to our special place. Vic and Mike have agreed to allow you to join because we need you safe plus we really want to show you. Is that okay with you?" Jaime spoke. I felt completely honoured that they want to take me to their special place and that I get to know them just that little but more. I nod in Hime's direction because I've only ever spoke to Vic and Vic only. But if I get to know the guys more then maybe, just maybe, I might talk to them too. Plus if I go with them then we might just come closer as friends.

After some food, me and Vic decided we should go to bed. Once we climbs the stairs, we entered our room, closing the curtains stoping the moonlight from flashing through. We stripped from out clothes and climbed into bed and Vic wrapped his arms protectively around my waist as I held my back to his firm chest. "When do you think you will talk to the guys?" And here comes the question I've been dreading for a while. Am I even ready yet? Do I trust the guys enough? Or do I even want to talk to them? All the questions bring me back to square one as I don't even have answers yet myself. "Soon." Was my only reply as sleep overtook my consiousness.

--HERE IS A TRIGGER WARNING OF RAPE SO IF YOU ARE EASILY AFFECTED BY IT THEN STOP READING FROM HERE!!--

I was in my old room. Pinned to the bed. My father was on top of me digging his nails into my hips and blood began to trickle down. It caused me to groan in pain which anger him. "Shut the fuck up you fucking whore!! You are nothing but a fucking slut! Worthless and pathetic! All you fucking do is sleep around and allow people to fuckîng control you! I hate you and so does everyone else! No one will love you and no one ever has!!" He boomed into my ear causing a few tears to slip. I hate this. I have had enough. It's the last straw! "You are pathetic yourself! Look at you! Abusing your own fucking flesh and blood! I hate you! You aren't my father! You never had been! All you have ever done was abuse me! I have had enough if your shit!" I yelled back. I never speak back. But tonight, I have had enough.

I kicked him onto the floor and tried to sprint to the stairs but he caught my foot, making trip and fall. I smacked my head hard on the floor and groaned in more pain. "You fucking slut! You're getting it now!" E yelled climbin on top of me once again, flipping me around. I thrashed around and screamed for him not to but it was no use. He grabbed he hands and forcefully pulled down my boxers. I was so terrified at that point, knowing full well was will happen. He unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. I tried to kick but it was useless. My hands were in one of his as he pinned them down. Tears were freely falling from my eyes and he pushed his harshly. The pain hurt so much.

He began thrusting in and out if me hard and saying how much if a slut I was and I was only used for sex. Every time I struggled beneath him, he moaned. adding pleasure to him but pain to myself. thats all I ever do. Push pain into myself. He kept going, even faster and harder now. My cries became chocked and his load moan filled the room. He came inside me before pulling out and gave one last disgusted look before spitting on my and pulling his trousers and boxers back up. Leaving me on the floor, crying as pain spread through me.

__end of trigger :(__

Blood, sweat and come was covering my body. I felt suck, used, broke and dirty. I tried to get off the floor but the pain took over my body as I was left there. Bleeding all over my body. I feel unconscious as the black dots grew wider and wider till they covered my whole vision.

I jolted up from the bed. My heart beat speeding, sweat covering my body and my breathing shirt and quick. I put my hand over my mouth and clamped my eyes shut and I began to cry. I re-watched that dream, that memory. That nightmare. I hated it. The day my father began to rape me himself. My body was now shaking and I felt too arms wrap around me, causing me to jump and push them off. "Shh kel, its okay. It's vic. I'm here. It's just a dream. Calm down." Vic was now hugging me from behind as my body shook in his arms. I couldn't get that memory out of my head and it made me cry harder into my palms. I was getting a headache so I breathed in and out a few rimes, calming myself.

Once I was fully calmed down, Vic pulled me down with him and rested my head in his warm chest. "It's okay." He kept up the sweet nothing's, calming me down. Once I was calm enough he began to ask whats up. "I-I-I had a nightmare again." Vic knew my nightmares after each time I woke during the night. I told him about each one after he calmed me down. "The same one as before it different?" He asked. "The same." I clamped my eyes shut and tears fell from my eyes. It felt so real that it happened right there. "It's just a nightmare baby. He can't wt you now. I promise. I will protect you so one can hurt you." and that made me smile. He was so kind and amazing that I felt like I was dragging him down.

"Thank you Vic. Thank you for everything you have ever done. You are truly amazing." I leaned up and kissed his cheek. He mumbled "only for you." I smiled and just listen to the sound of his heart beat, the feeling of his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. The warmth radiating from his body and the silk smith feeling of his skin. Subconsiouslly, I drew small patterns into his stomach and his skin was getting goosebumps. I breathed in deeply, getting his fruity and light cologne smell along the the way. I closed my eyes, just enjoying the comfort and feeling. But this felt to surreal. It was like it was a dream or something but it felt to real for a dream. I was slowly drifting back to sleep before I heard Vic say "I love you my little pup." And sleep engulfed me once more that night.

**an
ThankYou to @ally_pvt and @SamanthaQuintero404 for following. I really want to thank @Fredardandly for you comments because they make me laugh till everything hurts and you're just funny af!! So I dedicated this chapter to you three wonderful bats!! Iloveyoubso fucking much it's even burns hell. Also what would you think if I wrote an Austlan?? Comment what you think (if it's a ye or a no. I just need to know rn).

Charlie**