"I'd set the world on fire, including myself, if it meant saving her."
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Power. It is a word easy to spell, but hard to master. It is humanity's biggest desire, and everyone wants to know what it feels like to be the most powerful person in the...
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"You come and goes as you pleases, Jimin. I cannot even remember the last time we had talked properly without arguing or fighting. It started to feel like that kids and I are just burden to you now."
"I'd rather you had actually died in that nightmare than have to stand here and watch you kill "us" while you're still breathing."
"It is a strange kind of grief, isn't it? To be kept so safe by a man who makes me feel so dangerously alone."
"Look at me, Jimin. I am exhausted, I am bleeding, I am bruised, and I am emotionally empty because you've spent months draining the life out of me to turn me into this version of yourself!"
Every singled word of her echoes at the back of my head, those words never left me for a moment since she told them. They are haunting me with every breathe I took.
I stood in the shadows of the balcony, my breath hitching as I watched Suhani. She looked so fragile against the backdrop of the night, her hands gripping the railing as if she were trying to hold the entire world together by herself. I wanted to move. I wanted to run to her, to wrap my arms around her waist and bury my face in the crook of her neck until the smell of her skin erased the last few months of my life.
But I stayed still. My feet felt like lead, anchored by the weight of every silent dinner, every avoided glance, and every cold word I had thrown at her like a stone. I didn't do this on purpose. I didn't wake up one day and decide to break her heart. It happened slowly a gradual erosion of the man I used to be.
The KGF work had demanded a version of me that was made of iron and ice, and I had played the part so well that I had forgotten how to take the mask off. I had let the business consume the space where our love used to breathe, thinking she would always just... be there.
But seeing her now, I realized she was drifting. The words I said to her that I felt nothing vibrated in my mind like a shameful secret. I had said it because her tears were making me feel too much. They were cracking the "Lord" persona I had worked so hard to maintain, and in a moment of cowardice, I chose to be cruel rather than be vulnerable.
I told her I felt nothing because the truth is, that I felt everything, that I was terrified of losing her, that I was failing as a husband was too heavy to carry. I stepped onto the balcony, the night air biting at my face, but it was nothing compared to the chill between us. We are now two celestial bodies caught in a slow-motion collision beautiful to watch from a distance, but devastating to experience from within.
I had a thousand apologies locked in my chest, a thousand "I love you" that were dying to be heard, but I had spent so long being the man of steel that my tongue didn't know how to shape the words of a man in love.
I walked into the balcony, watching her arms covering herself, and I noticed the small shivering tremors in her body because of cold. She had her gaze fixed onto the sky, ofcourse she knows I am here but didn't said anything.
